Gate: The Empress

I stepped through the vision gate and found the ground trembling beneath my feet so violently that I immediately fell over to lay upon the earth.  There was a final, tremendous quake and the sky split into two above me as I struggled to stand again.  From out of this rift in the sky, a glowing red flower upon a hanging vine emerged from the void.  It grew down from the sky towards me, shining like the sun and I fell into the heart of this flower, pulled by a power outside of my own.

When I reached the glowing flower’s secret heart, I was moved away from the center again, pushed through the blossom’s outer petals and down its stem like it was a child’s slide.  I fell until I passed into the red flower’s roots, then traveled backwards in time, entering into the seed the flower had first emerged from.  Within the seed’s potential, all was silent and my vision dissolved into darkness.

When I could finally see again, I found myself standing in a circular chamber.  Visible energy in the form of mist swirled and coalesced around my legs, but otherwise there was nothing to either see or hear.

As I contemplated my misty surroundings, Badger burst into being at my side in his animal form.  “Heidi!” he exclaimed. “Where have you been? I have missed you.”  He ran around me, bumping into my body affectionately like an overgrown, excited dog.  I rubbed my hands through the fur on his head.

“I’ve been walking the paths of my waking world over and over again. I don’t know what I’m looking for but that’s where I’ve been. I missed you too, Badger,” I said. “What is this place?”

“We stand in a realm of primordial creation, a nexus of great power,” Badger said, lowering his voice in respect. “It is a very great honor.”

“It is? But there’s nothing here and no one to talk to,” I said, swirling the misty energy around with my foot.

“You’re here and so am I,” Badger said. “And there’s all this potential. What would you like to create? We can dream up anything we want.”

“I can make anything in creation that I desire?” I asked.

“Anything at all,” he replied. “We are only bound by our imaginations.”

“Let’s imagine a new world, Badger,” I said. “One for just you and me to explore if we want to.”

I opened my mind and heart, looked down at the mist as if entering a daydream, and when I looked up again, I was gazing over an ancient forest.  “I think there will be trees that way,” I said and pivoted a step. “In that direction, we’ll have an ocean.”  Frothy, rolling waves burst into being and I found myself gazing upon the shore of a beach.

I took another step in a different direction as if I was turning on top of a compass. “Over there, we will have fire and volcanoes.”  A blasted landscape of ash and fire appeared.  “And finally,” I turned one last time. “We will have a realm of the sky and clouds.”  And it was so.

Badger and I now stood at the center of four worlds with primal elements clearly visible and active within each.  “I like what you’ve done with the place. The elemental spirits will lose their minds in joy in these worlds,” Badger said. “What will exist at this center point where all the elements meet?”

Looking at the mist that still remained under our feet, I imagined one more embodied element. “This shall be the realm of the spirit and our home in the myriad worlds,” I said and as I spoke the words, the last bit of mist shaped itself into a shimmering, giant flower that grew at the center of the four worlds of the elements.  I sat down at the base of the stem of this flower, gazing out at creation from beneath its petals.  Badger wrapped his body around me so I could lean back into his soft fur and we sat together in silence for a time.

“Badger, what is friendship?” I asked at last.

“I think it’s a form of love,” he replied. “Why do you want to know?”

I sighed. “I recently had a friendship fall apart in my waking world and took it rather badly,” I said. “My heart aches in my chest because of it. Why does Love cause such suffering? Sometimes it feels more like a ruling power of shadow than light.”

Badger pulled himself closer still and I took comfort from his warm presence. “Injuries of the spirit are only passing shadows, Heidi,” he said. “Don’t let the ashes of a friendship break your heart. We can still imagine anything we want in this place, the raw potential exists for anything at all that you may desire. I suggest we make this vision journey not only about creation but also healing.”

I sighed again. “You are my best friend, Badger, and I would be lost in the worlds without you,” I said. “I’ll give this healing idea a try but my spirit really isn’t in it today. I get so tired of fighting shadows both within my heart and without.”

“If you are weary, then I’ll do the hard work of imagining and you can come along for the ride into my dream of healing. Don’t be sad! It’ll be fun! Let’s begin,” Badger said as he shook himself and stood. “We’ll go farther up and further into the realm of the spirit to discover the truth of this heart ache. I’ll lead the way.”  With that, he took a running start and ran up the side of the giant flower. I tried my best to follow, but instead of going upwards in Badger’s shadow, I found myself falling down the flower stem into darkness.

I blinked and found myself in a coffin filled with shadows. I reached out with my consciousness and felt only stillness on all sides of the box, slowly coming to the realization that I was buried alive.  “Where am I? Badger!” I called, pushing against the coffin lid. “Help me, please. I’m stuck!”

I tried frantically to free myself, imagining the coffin was nothing but a misty illusion. When that didn’t change my situation, I pretended I was a molecule of air and could pass through the coffin into the earth and outwards, but nothing worked.  So, bowing to reality, I composed my breath and waited for my circumstances to change.

“Breathing in, I love you. Breathing out, I love you,” I whispered to myself. “Badger, we need to work on your imagination. This dream sucks.”