Gate: The Well of Memory
Companion took my arm as the jaws of the Devourer were about to close over me within the Jungle of Blood. “Come now, Heidi,” said the ancient lion spirit. “Though the path we traversed was a difficult one, we have gone through it. Dry your tears for it was you who told me that we couldn’t let the passage of time or lost dreams determine our actions in the Now moment. If we stay here, we have given up the game to the shadows. Is that what you want?”
I gathered my strength and stood from the jungle floor, rubbing my hands over my cheeks to dry my latest tears. “No, Companion,” I said. “Please take me to where we need to go next. I’m sure my heart will recover in time as do all injuries for, despite how it hurts, they are only shadows.”
“Very well,” he said. Then, he stepped back into my heart as a wall of darkness began to sweep across the jungle glade, covering the grown Inner Child, the Queen of Blood and her entire warrior retinue with the Devourer’s deep shadow.
There was a flash of bright light and I found myself standing before a well in a moon-lit space. Multi-toned whispers came from the well’s depths. I reached for the handle that turned the crank to retrieve the bucket from the depths of the well, but it was far too heavy for me to shift.
“Badger and Dream!” I called into the night. “Please friends, I require your help.” My guardians and guides materialized at my side the moment the words left my lips and I felt a huge sense of relief that they had not been consumed in the Devourer’s all-encompassing maw which I could still feel moving through the Inner Worlds. Together, we turned the well’s handle and its contents came up from the deep.
The moonlight revealed a cage dripping with water at the end of the chain. Someone was confined within it, a figure drenched in well water and covered with shadows. “Shine the light of the sun upon us,” the being whispered. “For we are at the end of our strength.”
I looked up at the sky and raised my arms in supplication but the sun didn’t answer my call. “Helios has fallen,” Badger said when I turned my questioning eyes his way. “I’m sorry, Heidi, the sun doesn’t shine in this realm right now. But perhaps the moon will suffice.”
“You have always flourished in the moonlight,” Dream said. “It will provide enough illumination because it must and there are no other light sources in the sky as the stars are chasing each other in a panic at the sun’s descent. Don’t worry, Heidi, Badger and I will help you.”
My friends and I lifted our arms and pulled on the moonbeams, strengthening one with our wishes and will until it shone like a thin laser of light and we directed it onto the figure as simply as mirrors reflecting the moon.
Where the light touched the spirit’s hand, an eye opened in her flesh. The being grew small, smaller, until collapsing into rags. Suddenly, reality shifted and she was outside of the cage within the well and split herself into three separate beings.
I glimpsed a beautiful young woman, a matron with shining black hair, and a grinning skeleton composed of glittering bones, before all three were covered in hooded cloaks which concealed their features from the light. They brought their hands together and a dark cushion appeared, upon which rested a perfect black pearl, the size of my clenched fist.
A voice came from the pearl: “Go within, Heidi,” the pearl whispered. “Go within and know us for we would know you.”
Badger laid a restraining paw on my arm before I leapt within the being’s pearl. “Take the Dream Catcher of Poseidon as well as Dream and I,” he cautioned. “We do not know what powers are within, but the jellyfish has plumbed the depths of the Subconscious Sea. He will guard you from the powers your dragon and I are unprepared to face.”
“This is a wise idea, Badger,” I said. “Thank you for looking out for me in this difficult time of transition.”
Taking Badger’s advice, I imagined the enormous jellyfish of the ocean god and he floated gracefully behind my left shoulder, navigating the air as easily as he did the water. Then, with a deep breath, I entered the pearl on the well spirit’s cushion. Dream, Badger and the jellyfish followed in my wake, joining my spirit and giving me their tremendous strength and courage.
Through the pearl, I now stood in a cave filled with weeping spirits who had the appearance of women whose long hair covered their faces as they screamed in anger and rage. Each held a sword, pointing towards the rocky floor of the cave. With each scream, they pushed the sword into the ground. The swords rose and fell, in a tremendous racket which grew ever louder, as the women came closer and closer to me within the cave.
I fled before their stifling rage and pulled away from the cave, floating through and out of it as effortlessly as mist. From above, I observed the sword-wielding women were not striking the cave in an uncoordinated attack but were instead carving a rock with their angry efforts. Pulling back still further, a shape began to emerge from beneath the thrusting swords- a reclining woman carved of the living rock.
Suddenly, this rock behemoth blinked and came alive, raising herself from the rock of the cave, bearing the weeping and screaming women spirits on her skin like living scales.
“Small One,” said the figure, fastening her enormous eyes upon me as I floated in the air before her visage. “Who are you and why do you come to this place?”
“Great One,” I replied. “My name is Heidi and I have come through both light and shadow to know you. I pulled you from a well and I released you with the moon’s and my dearest companions’ assistance. Please share your true nature with me.”
“Remain silent, Heidi,” the being of living rock said in reply. “And follow if you truly wish to know the power that is Kali.” She made a motion with her hands and my mouth disappeared from my face. Poseidon’s jellyfish exited my heart, ran one of his tentacles across my face and my mouth was restored to me.
“Thank you,” I whispered to the jellyfish with my mind as he rejoined the guardians in my spirit.
I imagined myself growing larger so soon I was of a size with the goddess made of stone. Badger wrapped his claws around me from behind, draping himself over my back, becoming a skin cloak with his jaws encompassing my head. Dream stepped from my heart to stand between me and the goddess.
“You do not know who I am, Great One,” I said. “But I will no longer be silenced by you or anyone in this realm or any other. I do desire to know you but I will not surrender my voice in exchange.”
The goddess tilted her head and gave a ghastly smile, fangs of stone flashing between her rocky lips. “If you would know me, foolish Badger spirit,” she said, walking closer to Dream. “Then know my suffering.” The spirit held out her arm, and some of the now tiny sword-wielding women ran from her, across my dragon, and onto me. They screamed and wailed, puncturing me with their weapons as they had shaped the cave into the goddess.
“It burns,” I said, falling to my knees in pain. “Creator of All help me for I am a woman not a cave of stone.”
“Bear it as I do, Heidi,” the goddess said. “While I dance.” The living rock and remaining worshippers fell off the figure, revealing skin made of the darkness of the night sky. Her hair was made of snakes that hissed and struck at the air about her head and, instead of two arms, she had eight lining either side of her body from her shoulders to her hips. The rock beneath our feet turned into the backs of men and the goddess began to dance upon them, her arms moving hypnotically as she began to move to a music only she could hear. “Follow me if you would know me,” she ordered imperiously. “Die if you would not.”
Dream wrapped his arms around me. “We’d better dance, eh?” he said with a grin, rejoining my spirit. I gritted my teeth, using the strength of both Badger and Dream to stand, wobbling upon the living flesh of the space.
“I can not do this dance, goddess,” I said. “Mortal lives are not the diamond sands of intuition. You and I are not the same.”
The goddess paused in her movements as blood began to drip from her eyes, nose and mouth. “Remain silent,” she said. “And move as I move.” She reached down and grabbed the neck of one of the beings cowering beneath our feet. “Most who behold me go mad,” the goddess said and the unfortunate person in her hands began to foam at the mouth, his body juddering and shaking.
“Yet you do not go mad,” she observed. She gave me a searching look again. “I suspect you are mad already.”
“Let him go,” I said, resting my trembling hands on my heart for comfort from my hidden companions.
“These are not persons,” she said, dropping the man like a stone. “These are the shades of ignorance and they melt in the fires of my presence.”
The goddess moved again, her eight arms shaping symbols in the air around her, part of the dance yet separate from it. And as she danced, the living beings beneath our feet liquified and flowed until it appeared as if the goddess danced upon water.
The sky above us opened, revealing a huge eye which stared down at the goddess in her dance. Dream exploded from my heart and I grasped my dragon as the world began to come apart around us and Dream flew us off of the plain of water of the dancing goddess into the pupil of the great eye in the sky.
I blinked and found myself standing before the three cloaked figures of the well once more. Upon the cushion in their hands, the black pearl had come alive and, instead of an inanimate object, I realized it was the eye I had seen gazing down from the sky upon Kali.
“Traveler of the worlds,” the three spirits said, their disembodied voice speaking through the eye. “We see you now. You who were once the mute bard, the lost gatekeeper, the trembling badger spirit, we see you and know you.”
“You see me, Great Ones,” I said, Badger and Dream coalescing to either side of me. “And I see you. I would know who you are for you remind me of Hecate but she was beneath a mountain and not within a well.”
“We have many names, Heidi,” they said. “Today you shall call us the All-Mother.” They raised the eye between them and the well disappeared. Suddenly, we were standing in the sacred space that contained my permanent vision gate, my portal into the Inner Worlds. “And we see the All-Father within you. You have spoken to him, and, unbeknownst to you, you have aided his search for this.” The eye floated off the cushion.
“I do know Odin,” I said. “And I would know you as well, if you would give me the chance. We stand before my access to the spirit realms. It is my personal portal, what do you require of it?”
“The All-Father took our voice,” the All-Mother said. “In retaliation, we took his eye. We speak through it and him, yet we would have our voice back as our own.” The great eye continued to float, as the three figures came towards me. I placed myself and my guardians between them and my vision gate in an effort to shield my sacred space. “If you do not return our voice, we will tear down this portal and you will be a planeswalker no more.”
Badger and Dream snarled, trying to force the tri-goddess back from my personal vision gate but they would not be turned for their power outstripped us all. “My friends,” I exclaimed, placing my hands on both of their heads. “We cannot fight the inevitable. These are ancient beings with abilities far beyond our own. I will try to do this thing they request and perhaps they will spare me and my portal as well. Help me because I cannot live my life without being able to communicate with you both. It would be as if my heart was cut out of my chest.”
Badger smiled at me. “You are never separate from me,” he said, stepping into my spirit and cloaking me with his skin. “Don’t let these spirits or anyone ever convince you otherwise.”
“Have no fear, gates are not required for those as you and I,” Dream said. “Use my power and dance for all of us, Heidi.” He hugged me and entered my heart as well.
I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling where the pain of the worshippers of Kali had entered my flesh. The jellyfish of Poseidon shined within my spirit and, where he combined with me, I grew many arms. When I unfolded my own arms from my chest, I was so much more than I had been and, with the combined power of The Light Congress, I was able to embody the form of Kali. I started to dance as the goddess had beneath the sky upon the water and the space containing my vision gate started to quake and shudder, energy waves moving from my heart and out into the ether.
The centipede Time burst from the vision gate, abandoning his efforts to contain the dying Helios within the worlds of the Light Congress. He circled me as I danced, his madly waving arms mimicking the hair of snakes of the goddess of destruction. The eye of the All-Mother came towards me and floated into my mouth where I swallowed it like a pill and felt Odin became a part of me too.
I blinked and was within the throne room of the Night King, the silent harp of Psyche with its grasping ivy of Eros clasped in my hands. Odin turned from the window in quiet resignation while the shadow army of Chaos came ever closer above the fields of calla lilies.
“The Dreamer has come at long last,” the god said. “Sing me to victory, Heidi, or damnation. I have waited so long for this day that I find I do not care if the outcome goes either way. I simply desire to rest once more in my place of power with those I love around me. Too long have I wandered the worlds and suffered beneath the impossible burden of the eternal fight against the shadow.”
I opened my mouth and the eye of the All-Mother fell out into my hand. “Peerless Odin,” I said. “I return this to you to do with as you see fit. But if you do not give the All-Mother back her voice, she will destroy my portal and I will never walk among you again. You can fight the Devourer without me, this is a legitimate choice and yours entirely to make. But know, Great Odin, the Light Congress and I are your allies from now until Time’s ending, whenever and wherever that may be. I will not let you fall into shadow. This I swear upon my honor as a warrior of light and also the love I bear in my heart for creation itself.”
Companion stepped from my heart to stand between me and the god. “I further swear,” the lion said. “That this great task, the struggle against the shadow of the Devourer and all others, shall be done for the glory of civilization and the family of my great warrior king. The Light Congress fights and walks the worlds for love, family, honor and glory. Our strength is yours if you require it.”
Dream came from my heart to join Companion and I. “Not all of the nighttime realms of the Inner Worlds bow to the Night King,” he said. “I speak for those who walk outside of his dominion. We stand and fight with The Light Congress as well.”
At last, Badger removed himself from my head and shoulders where he had embodied a protective cloak until that moment. “The western world yet shines a light to guide the lost and hopeless through the darkness of doubt and despair,” he said. “We shine for you, Odin. Resume your place among us as a great leader and warrior against the shadow. For as you wearied of wandering the worlds alone, we too missed your guidance and unquenchable spirit of exploration and discovery.”
As my friends declared themselves one after another, the eye that he had lost when the world was young floated into Odin’s hands and he considered it for a moment. In the throne room of the Night King, the moons faded from the eyes of Mimir as he changed into a puddle of tears beneath the feet of his shadowy queen. Venus, in the form of Freyja, breathed her last in the arms of her love, the god of war. In the far east, in a meadow with his flaming herd of magnificent horses, Helios took a final breath and died. The world was plunged into complete darkness and all became unnaturally still in the great hall of Valhalla.
I pulled the thorns and ivy from the harp of Psyche in my hands which I could no longer see but I could yet feel. Strumming her strings in the darkness and stillness, I began to sing a song without words and the melody was Kali’s dance embodied in music. It was a song of life and death in an unending cycle and secret pattern whose motions had been lost but could be learned again. It was the secret song of the undines and I sang it not only for Odin and The Light Congress but creation itself.
Suddenly, a light came from the darkness. The eye of Odin began to shine with a power like the sun in his hands. He threw it out the window of the palace where it floated up into the sky, becoming the light of a world born again. The ship of shadow with its attendant armies vanished in the blazing light of the new sun, sent back to whatever worlds they had emerged from, and all was made anew.
I had only a moment to appreciate the new world before I blinked and was standing before my vision gate, my eight arms moving and shifting while my body moved in the goddess’ dance. The movement created the music of Kali in that space as well and its primal power shook the foundations of my vision gate’s room.
The ceiling fell apart, banishing all shadows as simply as turning on a light, and the restored sun shone down upon me and the thrice-goddess from the well. The All-Mother lifted up their hands as one, reaching for the new light and bathing in the fires of creation once more after their long submersion in the water and shadows. Then they melded together, becoming small again, in the same manner they had emerged from the well and shot upwards into the eye of Odin. Time encircled me a final time and, passing through my vision gate, returned to the worlds of the Tree of Life.
I ceased my dance and Poseidon’s jellyfish pulled himself from my spirit, my arms returning to the normal two. Badger grabbed me as I collapsed into his paws, blood coming from my eyes, nose and mouth. Dream flew to where the three goddesses had disappeared into the sun and came back bearing a small stone statue in the shape of an ancient Venus figure.
I tumbled from Hades’ coffin with the statue still clenched in my fist and there my vision ended.
The Light Congress 