Gate: Lord Hades, god of the Underworld
I entered the vision gate and found myself among a running herd of horses. When I realized where I was, I reached out and held onto the sides of the creatures so that I would not be crushed beneath their churning hooves. We ran for a time, as if fleeing something, when suddenly the herd came to the edge of a cliff.
The horses and I fell from the cliff into the waiting waves of a dark and shadowed ocean. For a moment, I was caught up in the herd as it sank beneath the waves. But then, as I sank further, the horses changed into bubbles which floated gently away from me through the water.
Soon, all was still and I stood alone on the ocean floor. I looked around for my friends, the undines or other aquatic creatures but they were nowhere to be found. “I feel so alone,” I thought. “Why does this shadow keep returning to my heart and mind? I thought Heartbreak was banished from my experience by Dream and Hope and Shadow’s legions, whoever they may be. Perhaps this is not so.” The shadows moved beneath the waves in hypnotic patterns, mirroring my feelings of loneliness and abandonment.
Suddenly, a red light flickered in the darkness of that place so I approached it. As I got closer, the light revealed itself to be a cackling demon with a whip. The spirit flittered above a race track upon which riders with chariots and teams of four horses apiece moved. Around and around the track the riders went, spurred on by the blows falling from the giant, glowing demon above.
A crowd of gray individuals stood around this track. These beings had only two eyes and a wide open mouth- they lacked noses, ears and any other defining characteristic. There wasn’t a sound from this strange crowd, they watched the efforts of the riders and tormenting demon in unnerving and unnatural silence.
I entered the crowd, intending to observe the race and perhaps help the riders if I could, when I found myself sucked into the race with my own chariot and moving horses. I tried to stop the horses by pulling on their reins but they were moving with an energy far beyond my ability to control. And, as I tried in vain to stop my team, the demon discovered me and lashed my arms and shoulders with his cruel whip, laughing in glee all the while.
“This isn’t Mercy’s doing,” I thought to myself as I frantically continued my efforts to halt my chariot. “This is someone else entirely. I wonder if the shadow man from the Forest of Woe has caught me at long last.”
I didn’t know what to do- I couldn’t stop the race or the pain that was being inflicted upon me so I finally pulled the reins to the right with all my strength. The horses continued their breakneck pace but their direction changed and we crashed out of the race track into the silent, watching crowd.
I was thrown from the chariot and could only watch as my driverless team smashed through the gray ones and continued along the ocean floor until I couldn’t see them anymore. In their wake, they left a fiery scar along the ground and gray watchers crumpled here and there.
The demon turned his eyes from the perpetual race and directed his attention at me, the flaming energy of his gaze landing upon me like two bright red spotlights. “Look at what you’ve done, interloper,” he said with a cackle. “What delicious chaos you have wrought. I can only dream of wielding the destructive power over the watchers that you have.”
“Oh my god,” I said. “What have I done?” I ran to one of the fallen, my pace dictated by the water of the ocean so it felt as if I was moving nightmarishly slow. When I finally reached his side, I was just in time to see the being’s huge eyes close in death. The gray one’s body dissipated before my eyes, changing into sea foam that drifted away from me into the further depths of the sea.
The demon laughed in glee and turned his face back to the race which continued unabated. The crowd resumed its silent watch of the torment of their fellows and those who perished in my untimely exit from the track changed into bubbles as if they had never existed in the first place. A great fear entered my heart in that dark and hopeless realm.
“Badger? Wolf? Anyone? Please, I need your help,” I said, covering my face with my hands.
Badger and Wolf appeared at my side immediately. “What do you need, Heidi?” Badger asked as I buried my shaking hands in both of their fur.
“Don’t ask her questions now,” Wolf growled. “Can’t you see she’s scared and alone? Don’t worry a moment more, Heidi, your pack is here to help you.”
My body continued to shake in fear and panic. “I want to free the riders,” I said. “But I can’t see or imagine how. I barely escaped the race myself and caused huge losses when I did.”
“Perhaps,” said Wolf as Badger bumped his furry head comfortingly into my hip. “The drivers of the race need to travel their own path and you need to continue along yours.”
“But there’s a demon above them, driving their actions,” I said. “How can those watching the race allow it to continue?”
“Demon? What demon?” Badger said. “Point me at him and I’ll scruffle him now for frightening you so badly.”
I looked above the race where the demon had been to discover there was now only a flashing red light that the drivers were using to guide their path through the shadowed waters. I began to perceive sounds from the crowd, cheers of encouragement, though, to my eyes, the gray ones still had no mouths to make the noise.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “There was a demon there, just moments ago, and he was taunting me.”
“We believe you, Heidi,” Wolf said. “Maybe there was a demon but he changed into something else to make you doubt your sanity. They are quite talented shapeshifters, you know.”
I sighed as my breathing slowed. “Thank you, friends. I was feeling very alone and maybe the shadows took advantage of that to cloud my vision,” I said. “I think your idea of exploring this place further has merit and with your help I think I can manage to go on. Where is our path forward?” Wolf gestured to the scar caused by my escaping horses. Even as we looked at it, the mark began to lose its fiery energy and started to fade.
“Come, Heidi,” said Badger. “Wolf and I will walk the path with you. You are never alone, never, even when the shadow makes you believe that you are.”
So, together, my friends and I followed the path into further darkness. After a short time, I noticed seaweed rising from the ocean floor and beginning to surround us like an underwater forest. Shadows moved among the seaweed strands. Wolf bared his teeth at them and Badger gave a low growl under his breath. I focused on putting one foot after another and tried to ignore the shadows and their threatening presence.
We traveled like this for a while, moving deeper into the seaweed, when suddenly we came to a clearing. A table with two chairs appeared in the center of this space, at which the wizard Merlin sat. He played a game upon this table, the pieces resembling chess but which on closer inspection turned out not to be chess at all. This strange game had all of his attention and he didn’t look up as Badger, Wolf and I ran to him.
The wizard muttered to himself and pushed the pieces first one way then another. “Merlin,” I said when I finally reached his side. “Merlin, I’m here and I need your help. There are those beneath the waves who need your help too.” I reached out to touch his arm but nothing took his attention from the pieces and their complex movements upon the board. “Please Merlin,” I said, tears beginning to run down my face. “Wake up, Merlin. We can’t do this on our own, please wake up.”
Wolf bumped into the game table but this did not break the wizard’s rapt attention either. He and Badger melded into my heart center to give me strength as I crashed to my knees in front of the wizard and buried my face in my hands. “Wake up, Merlin. I need you,” I said, over and over again, quietly.
My distress was interrupted by the wizard who placed gentle hands on my head. “What’s the matter, child,” he said, sounding genuinely puzzled.
“Merlin, there is a shadow, a strong shadow that will not leave my heart and I don’t know which way to go or what to do about it,” I said. “In some ways, it feels like my old life is ending.”
“An ending?” he said, guiding me to the other chair at the table and helping me take a seat. “Endings are only the beginning of something else, you know that.” Merlin reached up and took his pointed blue wizard hat off of his head then settled it onto mine.
“This will help you hear the voices in the game,” he said and, even as he spoke, I began to perceive sounds coming from the pieces on the table. “Maybe the shadow will not hold such sway over you if you can hear the voices of the players.”
“I don’t want to play this game,” I said, reaching to remove the hat from my head. “I don’t want to become another mouthless watcher.” Merlin waved his hands at me indicating I should leave the hat on for the moment.
“If you do not want to make moves of your own then we shall wait,” the wizard said. “We will wait together and see what the seaweed brings to us in time.”
Wolf and Badger stepped out of my heart center and sat with Merlin and I in silence. As we waited for a sign from the seaweed forest, strange food appeared on the table in the place of the wizard’s board game. The food was entirely black like flat crackers made out of darkness and shadow with a pearl-like item in the center of each square. I didn’t like the look of them but Merlin took one and popped it into his mouth in one piece and chewed it contentedly.
Wolf sniffed the crackers as Badger put his head beneath my right hand. “I really don’t get the appeal of undine food,” he said. “Why can’t they eat normal things like peanut butter instead of fish eggs?”
Just as I was about to comment on the food, a large toad with one eye in the center of its head hopped out of the seaweed into our clearing. It blinked its single eye and looked at us as if expecting something. I picked up one of the dark crackers and threw it at the toad who opened its mouth wide and swallowed it.
“Well, somebody likes the sea crackers,” I said as more one-eyed creatures began to emerge from the seaweed forest. Soon, my friends and I were surrounded by toads, all croaking and demanding food from the wizard’s game table.
“Merlin, help!” I said as the number of toads became overwhelming. “Where are they all coming from?”
“They are her pets,” the wizard said, pushing the crowd of toads aside with his foot and clearing the space in front of his table.
“Whose?” I asked, assisting Merlin in his toad clearing effort. Badger and Wolf used their massive paws like brooms and shifted the creatures to the side as well.
“Hers,” he said, as a beautiful woman with long, flowing black hair that connected back into the seaweed appeared in front of us. She had the usual features of a mortal woman but also an eye wide open in the center of her forehead like the toads.
“Nimue,” I whispered, as the lady reached for the wizard’s hat on my head. Somehow, I knew she was going to put the hat back on Merlin’s head to get him engrossed in his false chess game again. So, instead, I put the hat on Nimue’s dark head, pulling it down so the eye in the center of her forehead was covered by the blue cloth.
The spirit screeched in rage, an inhuman sound that sent fear spiraling into my heart, and suddenly she began to spin, pulling her long, black hair and trailing seaweed about her. She spun and spun, and as she did, the waiting shadows beneath the waves turned into light and her form began to change. Everything in the clearing including Merlin and my friends were pulled into her spinning. Suddenly, she no longer appeared as a woman but as a glowing golden arrow made of light.
I too was a part of this arrow. I was shot from an unseen bow by a power outside of my own and I flew through the darkness into the pupil of a giant eye. As I pierced the eye, the Now moment, I changed back from an arrow into myself. And, for the moment, I was all alone again.
“What are you doing now, Heidi? Right now?” a bodiless voice whispered to me from the surrounding darkness. I began to lose control of the vision and started seeing everyday things happening- memories from the waking world more than visions from another world. Through the shifting memories, I saw my love at a computer keyboard with his head in his hands. I felt his despair grip my heart through the mysterious connection that we share.
Suddenly, my vision stabilized and I realized I was not alone. A figure wreathed in shadows sat with me in that place. In his gauntleted hands, he held a three-headed puppy. His god’s eyes were made of red flame and he wore armor made of blackened bone. I was in the presence of Hades, the god of death and the underworld, once again.
The god released his dog and the adorable puppy made his way awkwardly towards me, floppy ears moving around his three heads as he did so. I tried to pet Cerberus but a force field prevented me from touching his enchanted fur. That didn’t stop me from trying time and again.
“I would leave my guardian alone if I were you,” the god said, after a few moments of my struggle. He pulled a hunk of meat out of his cloak and began to cut pieces off of it to feed his dog. A closer examination of the meat showed it was a fresh heart the size of the god’s fist. A deep scar ran through the flesh of the heart. Cerberus ate with relish and, what the dog didn’t consume, went into the god’s own mouth.
“You have taken some hurt lately,” Hades said. I nodded, feeling somehow that I couldn’t speak. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Heidi. If there is anyone who knows something about endings, that would be me.” The god finished cutting up the heart and the last bite vanished down his throat. “Remember, the egg cracked from within goes on to new life. The egg cracked from without perishes. You must crack from within.”
“I am cracking from within, Lord Hades,” I said. “Cracking up maybe. So many strange things are happening and so quickly that I feel very much out of place. Have you ever felt moved by forces outside of your control like a piece on a gameboard that you didn’t even know existed? I feel that way quite often now and, I confess, I do not relish it.”
“Gods too can be moved,” Hades said, taking Cerberus upon his lap. “But only with our informed consent. You agreed to this path too when you set your foot upon the road to self knowledge. Hold onto your limitless love and imagination within your heart and you will move through this time of change as easily as through a vision gate. I know you can do this for I have seen some of your future, though not all, and your friends will not let you fall into shadow.”
“As for myself,” the god continued. “For returning my spear to me, I too count myself among your friends. I will help you as well though you may not see my contribution as positively as others.” He waved his hand and a coffin made of ivy and shadow appeared before us. “You have a shadow problem, Heidi. Enter this sacred place I have made for you and confront it, change it, allow it to evolve to become as expansive as yourself.”
“Allow my shadow to grow up?” I said. “I’m not sure how as I barely managed that transition for myself in my waking world.”
Hades placed his hands upon Cerberus and, in moments, the puppy grew from a small creature who could fit into the god’s lap into a towering monster capable of repelling any unwanted visitors from his owner’s realm. “See?” Hades said. “It is simple and a natural thing to evolve. You can do this, Heidi, though the shadow doesn’t want you to believe this is so. Allow your visions to come and it will happen with little conscious effort on your part. I promise you that.”
I looked at Cerberus who lowered one of his mammoth heads to drag a papery tongue over my cheek. I laughed and pushed the god’s guardian away. “I honestly don’t know which way to go,” I said, wiping the dog spit off of my face. “And I appreciate that you’ve given me an option when I felt that I did not have one. I will brave your sacred space and we will discover together what knowledge may come to us from beyond as well as the nature of my “shadow problem”.”
Hades opened the coffin’s lid and gave me a hand as I climbed over the side. “Thank you for being my friend, Hades,” I said as I settled myself within the coffin’s cushy interior. “Through my travels, I’ve come to understand that simply being my friend may be more difficult than I knew and I appreciate you all the more for it.”
The god paused before he shut the lid. “Remember, Heidi,” he said. “I will be moving your visions until you emerge from this coffin once more. They will be different and darker because they come from me and I have my own shadows. You will have much less control than you are accustomed to having in the other worlds. You must be very brave.”
My heart began to race at Hades’ warning but I gathered my courage all the same. “I will not surrender to my Shadow or any other,” I said. “Let us do this thing together. I trust you, Lord Hades, and I pray Love herself will guide us through this time of trial.”
The Lord of Death nodded once and closed the lid of my coffin. My consciousness deserted me and I lay in darkness for a long time. Then, I felt myself being propelled from that space and emerged out of the gigantic eye of Now’s pupil. I sat in front of my friend the giant eye and he began to dance the dance of Now, spinning and twirling around, inviting me to dance with him.
“I’m sorry, Now, I can’t dance with you,” I said, holding my chest where it felt like my heart had been ripped out. “It hurts so much, I can’t dance. I can hardly breathe.” Wolf and Badger appeared beside me as I laid myself on the ground, curling up within their warmth as the eye of Now continued the dance of existence without us. Dream, my gossamer dragon, appeared as well and wrapped himself around the three of us, cloaking us in his comforting darkness and shadows.
I felt myself being pulled away from my friends and saw them from a distance, curled up together as if laying in the center of a pearl made of shadow. I was pulled away further still and saw them sitting upon a dark cracker. Merlin, sitting at the game table in the seaweed forest, picked up this cracker and popped it in his mouth.
My consciousness returned to Hades’ coffin and there my vision ended.
The Light Congress 