Gate: A Mountain Stream
I stepped through the vision gate and found myself falling through the air. Far beneath me, I saw a mountain stream, burbling down the slopes from the heights above and I was on a trajectory to land upon it. Within the stream, a gray wolf and a badger waited patiently for me, the water flowing merrily over their paws as they gazed upwards in expectation of my imminent arrival. I opened my arms wide in preparation for reaching them when my downward motion was suddenly arrested.
A screech sounded from above and I was caught in the talons of an enormous bird whose plumage flamed with energy and mingling red and yellow lights. “Phoenix, let me go,” I implored my captor, but the sky bird who had once ferried me behind the stage of an immortal musician ignored me and instead took me further into the mountains and far from the ones who were waiting for me.
In a stroke of good fortune, the wolf and badger had witnessed my capture and far beneath me, I could see them running and trailing us as the phoenix and I cut a flaming path through the sky, deeper into the mountainous region in which we found ourselves. Unceremoniously, the phoenix released me and I fell once more, this time into a clear mountain lake and nothing saved me from the fall. I sank until I hit the bottom where the light was dim because of its depth and the living shadows it contained.
I was only alone with the shadows for only moments when I felt the comforting presence of Badger and Wolf on either side of me in the lake. I gathered strength from their companionship and gazed through the shifting light and water to see if I could discover what world I was now in. On the edge of my vision, I saw a lifeless figure floating at the bottom of the lake, his butterfly wings outspread on either side of him. I recognized this being as Paralda, the king of fairies and ruler of the air element.
The fairy king’s eyes were open and stared sightlessly towards the surface of the lake far above us as I frantically swam towards him, forgetting to ask the water to part for me in my panic. “A king of the air doesn’t belong in the water,” I said, in great distress because Paralda is one of my friends. “Please return him to the world where he belongs.” I gestured and my badger and wolf swam under both arms of Paralda and carried him to the surface of the lake between them.
Where Paralda had been unconsciously standing guard, a treasure chest remained, the hidden artifact of the sylphs that they had sent to the undines for safekeeping. The chest itself was covered in moss and grime and clearly hadn’t been opened for some time. From my previous experience with Paralda beneath the water, I recalled a snippet of music the fairy had used to open the chest and hummed it. The lock flashed with rainbow light and sprung open.
Within I beheld the treasure that my sight interpreted as the spoon of Paralda, which awakens different gifts when the item is touched to the skin. The type of ability that emerges from those who are blessed by its touch comes from within and varies according to the recipient. Paralda had touched my tongue with it and stories of the Inner Realms had flowed easily from my heart into existence ever since. Unlike the spoon Paralda had used on my tongue once upon a time which had been silver, this spoon was made of gold.
The spoon like its container looked somewhat worse for wear, covered in the same grime as the chest, its golden light obscured and hidden behind the filth that congeals in stagnant water. Within its bowl, the spoon held a single drop of liquid the color of rubies. I picked it up, trying to clean the spoon and as I did so the liquid floated away from the bowl of the spoon to hover in front of my face.
“It looks like blood,” I whispered, the knowledge coming to me from somewhere else. I gestured and sent the blood droplet speeding upwards out of the mountain lake. “Return to your rightful owner,” I commanded. It shot upwards and the shining light from above burst into rainbow colors when it emerged from the surface.
I scrubbed the rest of the muck from the treasure and went to touch Paralda’s spoon to my tongue once more in memory of a time long past, but it resisted me, pulling so hard that I couldn’t bring my hand close to my face. I only struggled with it for a moment and then relaxed. “I will not fight with you, Spoon,” I said. “As you’ve already touched the skin of my hand, there is no need to bring you to my tongue after all. Please reveal to me the reason why you are here.” The pull on the spoon increased, I blinked once, and found myself being pulled by its power out of the lake, up a mountain stream once more and into another place.
Up and up Paralda’s treasure led me until I shot into the stream’s source, directly into the side of a mountain. The spoon disappeared from my hand as I looked about me. Water dripped from above into a vast underground lake. At least, I believed it was water at first. But as I continued to gaze upwards towards the inner part of the mountain’s peak, I saw a great serpent coiled within its protective space and hanging from the rocks of the mountain’s heart.
The creature’s mouth was open and noxious poison dripped from its fangs to pool into the lake below. At the very root of the mountain, something struggled and twisted within the poisoned lake, giving off a flickering red light and waves of panicked emotion and pain.
The massive snake ignored my presence as I dived into the poison, moving as quickly as I could towards the suffering spirit. I experienced no ill effects from whatever was coming from the serpent even though I knew in my heart the lake was toxic, the knowledge again coming to me from somewhere else like the blood in the spoon. I moved towards the light like a shot, halting a handbreadth away from the being confined within the poison.
The toxic liquid in which the spirit floated had burned through his skin but no further, so mangling his features that I could hardly make out his face except to see his mouth was open in a soundless scream. I lay a single finger on the manacles that wreathed his form and they disappeared in a small wave of foam.
The moment the chains were gone, the god’s scream became manifest and he exploded outwards with both light and furious energy. I cringed backwards in the inferno, protecting my face as well as I could, but I took some injuries to my arms and side as I fled from his emergence in my reality. The heat of his wrath burned the poison lake away in an instant and we stood together beneath the mountain upon solid rock.
I looked upwards, expecting some sort of retribution from the guardian snake for my trespass but as I gazed upon him, the threatening serpent changed into cobwebs and mist as if he had never been a prison keeper beneath the mountain in the first place.
The god’s screaming ceased and he laughed as his skin knit itself back together. As he resumed existence outside of the poison lake, the god appeared pale with skin the color of cream. Where his hair should have been, there were flames, crackling and burning with his innate energy. Without knowing how I knew, I realized the fire upon him changed with his mood, growing sometimes larger, other times smaller, sometimes covering his entire body. This god burned with so much energy that his form couldn’t contain it all.
The white of his eyes was instead the blackness of the night sky and within their depths, single red flames burned, twisting and dancing. Even when the god looked directly at me, I could not be certain I had his attention, for his eyes held the chaos that was his source. They moved and shone even as the rest of his body stood perfectly still. His countenance terrified me in its alien presentation even as it compelled me towards the light in his mysterious eyes.
“Who are you?” I asked, the words pulled from my lips by his presence.
“I am Loki of the ancient skies and frozen wastes,” the god said and waved his hands over me. The wounds on my body from the god’s release from his mountain prison disappeared in a heartbeat. “Despite appearances, I feel neither heat nor cold, for I carry within myself the power of the one who put the stars in motion. Poison, on the other hand, was problematic to say the least and I appreciate the boon of my release. Whom do I have the pleasure of thanking for my most timely rescue?”
“My name is Heidi,” I said. “I come from another world seeking the true nature of those I encounter in order to solve a mystery of sorts. I had a vision I don’t understand and still find myself confused as to its meaning. But, Great One, I discovered the fairy king Paralda drowned within a mountain lake and this sacrilege, the immersion of a spirit of the air in the water, led me to your prison. Did you have anything to do with harming one of the lords of the sky?”
Loki took a step back from me and his chaotic eyes raced over my form. “I was imprisoned here, Heidi from another world,” the god said. “Any violence done to the fairy king was not done under my will as I suffered beneath the poison of my serpentine son for an untold amount of time. Have no fear though, I’m certain that one of his power recovered the moment he reached the skies again. You did recover him from the lake, didn’t you? I’m assuming from what you did for me that this is the case.”
I opened my mouth to respond when Wolf burst into being at my side and growled ferociously at the god. I placed a placating hand on his head but Wolf paid me no mind, baring his fangs at Loki and putting himself between me and a lord of chaos.
“What’s wrong, Wolf?” I asked. “Here is another ally for the war against the shadows. See how brightly he shines beneath the mountain?”
The god frowned at my wolf as if in disappointment. “One of Odin’s, are we?” he said. “How boring and predictable.” Loki made a motion with his hands and I could tell he was preparing for departure from that place. I felt suddenly as if I didn’t want him to go without learning more about his true nature.
“Yes, I have spoken with Odin and learned the lessons of winter from someone whom he called his son. I am blessed by many beings from many worlds,” I blurted, the information pulled from me as surely as I had been pulled by Paralda’s spoon. “Though none claim me as theirs alone and I am far more than I appear to be, certainly not boring.”
“Prove it,” the god said and crossed his arms. “For I have heard these words from many who have stood before me and they were lies. Those who walk on the unchaotic side of reality dream of being as adventurous as ones like me and my progeny but they never are. They expel only words and dreams and fruitless wishes like swamp gas from a marsh.”
I thought for a moment about how I could prove the veracity of my words and then began changing my form into the different spirits of the Light Congress, flashing through the myriad archetypes and beings I’ve encountered in my travels through the inner worlds. I felt Wolf’s approval emanating from him at my manner of expressing myself and my essential nature. I ended my demonstration as a female version of the god who currently stood before me. To my surprise, using his own eyes on himself, Loki appeared more as an elfish spirit like the ones who dwelt in the Woodland Realms than a being of living flame.
Loki’s frown vanished and he clapped his hands together once in obvious pleasure. “You’re a shapeshifter, clever Heidi,” he said. “A creature of chaos and the elemental realms of existence.” I changed back into myself and observed the flames on his head shooting upwards in a bright flash like a pillar of fire. “Like me. You did learn something in the wintery worlds, didn’t you. What a pleasant way to return to a reality outside of a poisoned prison, the discovery of a new companion for the gods of chaos.”
Wolf began to growl again at the god’s burgeoning energy and I put my hand upon his head to comfort him. “I don’t think I am chaotic, just curious,” I said. “The course of water is far more predictable than flame. For you flourish where there is flammable material to be consumed and water goes as nature decrees it must, downwards and along the most available path.”
“Tell me,” Loki said. “Do you cause trouble wherever you go? Sowing of the elements of chaos in opposition to stagnant order? Making those around you question their sanity as you move through the dance of existence?”
“If I do, it’s not on purpose,” I replied. “I question my own sanity so often that I don’t have the time to consider what effect I may have on those around me. Also, I’m very accomplished at hiding when powers beyond my purview rage throughout the worlds. When their wrath and vengeance is spent, I emerge again, prepared to discover how the world reassembled itself in their wake and to structure my life accordingly.”
The god’s smile faltered a moment but then reassembled itself. “I have some small talent at true seeing, a gift from my mother. We shall see what and who you truly are,” he said and reached towards me with one hand. “I don’t think you remember who you are anymore because you’ve met so many in your journeys and walked in their footsteps in empathy and solidarity. It’s a common enough occurrence, but we can set it right. Have no fear, whoever you are.” When his hand was close, it filled with his chaotic fire and Loki pushed ever closer. I waited, curious as always to see what was going to happen next.
When his flames reached me, I felt my spirit withdrawing from them, creating a space in which they could exist, but otherwise holding my original shape, so that to an outside observer’s eyes Loki’s hand passed through my heart without burning me like he was reaching into a body made entirely of water.
“Now this is interesting,” the god said, swirling his flames experimentally through me once, then twice, then a final time. Under each touch, my spirit made room, but did not incorporate Loki’s fire. “You are a water elemental spirit indeed. This is unique for a creature of chaos but not unheard of. You must tell me your lineage for I would speak with the ones who put you in creation.”
“I’m not chaotic,” I started to say, but I blinked and found myself standing in the mountain stream once more. Wolf was nowhere to be seen but Loki stood before me in the stream, again reaching his fiery hand towards my chest.
Now that we were outside of the mountain and its sacred protection for me against his exertions of power, Loki pulled power from the sky which caused his will to eclipse my own and he brushed aside my wards against the influence of others, placing one index finger gently upon my secret heart. Within my spirit beneath his physical touch, I could feel a flame growing, responding to Loki’s summons from one who put my feet upon the path I walk through reality. A pain such as I have never known followed this awakening and I felt a scream building within me.
Before the pain became unbearable and drove me to insanity’s door, my own index finger began to release Loki’s energy like a spigot of water. But the sky’s power from me was not fire and blinding energy like the god, instead my energy appeared as water as black as the night sky and as enigmatic as Loki’s eyes. It poured into the mountain stream at my feet, coalescing into a black ball the size of my head. Within the water of this ball of energy, pinpoints of light glowed like stars set in the firmament.
Though I had no idea what we were looking at, the god recognized my energy at once. “You are expressing the power of the Divine Mother,” Loki said, his nostrils flaring in alarm. “Why did you not reveal your connection to her? I would not have pulled it out of you. Gods help me, she’ll never forgive this trespass. I have touched the heart of one of her aspects.” He made an arcane symbol with his hands. “Tell the Dark Goddess I meant no disrespect to either her or her servants.” Before I could say another word, the god lit up in a flash of bright light and disappeared, leaving an imprint of his inner fire within my eyes.
I blinked to clear the blinding light from my eyes then picked up the black water that had emerged from my spirit and gazed into it. Symbols and pictures moved within the water but I could not make out their meaning. “Dark Goddess?” I asked the water. “Who on earth or the heavens was he talking about? The Divine Mother I know is not someone to be feared. She has always made me feel loved, unconditionally and as I am. Who am I really?” The water flickered and shimmered beneath my touch but provided no other response.
“Who am I?” I asked once more, feeling a despair entering my heart at my inability to understand the light coming from the water or the god’s words. The ball broke apart in my hands and I felt it returning to the place in my spirit from which it had emerged. When only a single piece remained, it changed into a flute made of water which was shaped like an inverted Y and I put the instrument to my lips. With my feet in the stream, I played a song upon the flute from my heart, the haunting melody drifting away from me over the mountains, asking without words for assistance from the universe.
In response to my song of despair, Pan, the hooved god of music and the son of Dionysus, appeared on the bank of the stream, followed closely by Wolf. The great gray wolf closed his eyes and listened as Pan’s flute of wood mingled with mine of water, playing a song of sadness and loss, but also hope. Hope that I would one day understand and know my own power and genesis. When the song was done, Pan dried my tears, gave me a single hug, and disappeared into my spirit, leaving Wolf and I alone once more in the mountains of another world.
Sensing my sadness, Wolf came into the mountain stream to be with me, where he turned into the form that I have named my Animus. “Who am I, Wolf?” I asked as he enfolded me in his arms. “Everyone asks but I do not know how to answer them. I feel like a lost cause.”
“Do not concern yourself with the demands of others, Heidi,” he said. “I know who you are. I see you now exactly as you are. I promise I can see all you may become as well. Don’t be sad as you walk the paths of self knowledge. You will see these truths too in time.”
Animus kissed me once then my vision ended.
The Light Congress 