Gate: A Sugar Cube
I stepped through the vision gate and found myself skating on ice with snowflakes falling all around me. I swooped and twirled over the frozen landscape, aware that something large was rising beneath the ice. Then, there was a tremendous crack, the ice broke, and an enormous turtle emerged from the water. It opened its mouth wide and I walked down its throat as if into a tunnel.
Inside the turtle was a brightly lit, if small, library and the dome of the interior of the shell was simply a circular shelving space filled with books. In the center of this room, Merlin puttered around a long table filled with his typical chemistry equipment and to one side stood a contraption that resembled an empty loom. He spoke to himself as I approached. “Gribblings, grumblings, meddlings, mumblings…,” murmured the wizard.
“My friend,” I exclaimed, interrupting his nonsense. “What is the project today?”
“I am researching the differences between dreams and fantasies,” Merlin said. The wizard indicated a plate filled with thought forms that were shaped like a pile of sugar cubes.
“I thought dreams and fantasies were the same thing,” I said and Merlin shook his head negatively.
“Similar in appearance, maybe, but quite different in construction,” he said. “See a typical fantasy goes something like this…”
Merlin took one of the sugar cubes and stretched it so that it was as thin as a thread then he attached the thread to the loom. Pulling a long, thin pin from his robes, he pierced the thread so its substance hung down onto the machine which caught the mess and wove it into a living picture rather like a movie screen.
Pleasant images of flowers and rainbows appeared on this screen and Merlin swept his hand across it, removing a handful of glitter. “A fantasy is a subconscious function of the emotions. See the fairy dust infecting the whole work?”
“Infecting?” I said in disapproval.
“Poor choice of words,” he replied. “Rather, see the fairy dust imbuing the whole? The Fae are creatures of emotion and their influence can be seen all over fantasies because, like them, these visions can’t be consciously controlled.”
The wizard took another cube, repeated his strange procedure and another moving picture emerged. This one didn’t sparkle and the overall effect was darker, but the images contained within were still pleasant to my mind.
“Now, Heidi, see the dream and its construction,” Merlin instructed. “Because dreams are a function of the subconscious mind and lacking the influence of the fairies, they are far more rational and corresponding to reality. In addition, dreams can be steered by those who realize that they are dreaming.”
“But emotions can influence dreams too,” I said.
“Not influence,” said Merlin. “Infect.”
“I thought you were a Fae,” I said and Merlin glowered at me. “And furthermore I don’t think all of this talk about ‘infection’ is either accurate or appropriate for a conversation about dreams and fantasies.”
“I am no fairy, I am a wizard,” he exclaimed. “Wizards are to the mind as fairies are to the emotions. Wizards bring clarity, breakthroughs, and new ways of visualizing reality- that is why it helps to sleep on a problem.”
“On the other side of the spectrum, the fairies are illogical, over-emotional pests,” Merlin continued. “Who cloud the mind with their impulsive natures and poison otherwise perfectly sound experiments in consciousness.”
“You don’t seem to think much of the Fae,” I observed.
The dream on display on the loom began to shake and glittery powder exploded all over Merlin’s library as the elf prince Oberon stepped out of its fabric into the room. “And the fairies don’t think all that much of wizards,” he said, stomping his boots and spreading fairy dust still further.
“Speak of the devil and he appears,” Merlin grumbled, brushing the sparkles out of his beard. “Do you always have to make such a mess?”
“Oberon! What are you doing here?” I said, greeting my friend with a hug.
“Despite this frosty reception, I was invited,” Oberon said, returning my squeeze. “Merlin said he had urgent business to discuss and needed my expertise.”
“Yes, unfortunately,” said Merlin, plucking both the dream and the fantasy from the loom and placing them in his pocket. “Logic and emotion are both needed here today because a pressing issue from the subconscious mind has come to my attention.”
The wizard gestured and the shelves disappeared from one of the walls of the library revealing a thick door made of black wood. As we neared it, I heard a dragon’s roar coming from the space beyond the library’s door.
“That was Dream,” I said, reaching for the handle. “He needs me.” Oberon caught my hand before I touched the doorknob.
“Heidi, you must be very brave now,” he said. “Merlin would not have summoned me here unless whatever lies beyond this door was deathly serious. As you have discovered, he hates the fairies.”
“Whatever it is,” I replied. “Whatever comes, I have the courage to see it through because I must.” My dragon’s roar sounded again, closer, as if he was right behind the door.
“It is not so much about courage,” Merlin said, taking one of my arms as Oberon had the other. “But the ability to feel and understand an old problem in a way that you haven’t before. Perhaps it is more about being open to new ways of experiencing reality.”
The gateway into the library blew open as a wave of energy blasted through from the other side of the door. I saw Lickspittle in his dragon form within the space, fighting against something that I couldn’t see, releasing his fire in controlled bursts.
“We are with you,” Oberon yelled as he and Merlin combined their strength to push me through the door, against the energy that continued to roil through the doorway like the wind from a tornado. I heard the door slam shut behind me and I was blown in circles around Lickspittle’s battle against the yet-unseen enemy.
“Dream,” I yelled, grabbing my dragon’s neck as the next energetic push took me close to him. “I’m here for you. How can I help you win this fight?”
“He is too fast,” Lickspittle screeched. “And all the love that I blow at him seems to have no effect. We must flee.” I lost my hold upon his neck as another wave of pure energy rushed over us. Lickspittle’s wings caught the blast and he was blown far away as a mixture of moving, living color engulfed me.
For a moment, all was silent and still.
Then, I realized I stood in front of the Fountain of the Wise in the Village of the Lost and Found, but the fountain’s water had nearly dried and only occasional drops fell from its spigot. I took one or two of the droplets in my hand and put them to my lips, but the village remained dark, unilluminated by the draught of the wise because there wasn’t enough water.
I noticed one of the houses around the square had a candle in the window so I went to that house and knocked. I heard footsteps and then the door creaked open upon rusty hinges but I saw no one within.
“Hello?” I called into the house and from the back rooms, I heard manic laughter and then, once again, silence. “I am here to learn who you are and your nature,” I said, entering the house to follow the sound of madness. The door slammed shut behind me and I groped forward into the shadows, the laughter coming again and again to guide my steps.
I came to a hallway filled with doors, but the voice was behind none of them, so I continued onwards. Finally, at the very end of the hall, I heard the laughter once more and opened that door to reveal a living storm filled with lightning. Insanity and madness were in the clouds and the laughter was the lightning itself. It sounded again as I entered the room and its light traced the outline of a dark figure who stood within the storm.
“I have traveled a long way to meet you,” I said, pushing the room’s clouds away from my face. “Who are you?”
The being gained solidity as I gazed upon him and he cackled once more, pulling energy and a sword made of pure darkness from the clouds. “I am Heartbreak,” he said, sweeping towards me upon a rush of wind.
“Love conquers all things,” I said, pushing back against the force emanating from this creature.
“I say, Love has conquered you,” he said, driving his sword into my chest.
“There is nothing left within me for you to either manipulate or control,” I said. “All is well in my heart and mind, Heartbreak. Maybe I have known you in the past but why would you come to me now when I feel balanced and at peace with my inner worlds?”
“Love is an emotion,” said the monster, pulling another sword from his storm and driving it into my chest next to the other. “Like all emotions, it has a beginning and an end. How can you say Love is greater than any other power if it can end?”
“If Love ends then it isn’t real,” I said. “Only shadow ends, not Love.”
“You are hopelessly naïve,” replied Heartbreak. “Hear the wailing from all those whose true loves have ended?” From the clouds surrounding us, I heard the cries of the countless broken hearted and abandoned souls upon the Earth.
“Maybe, in a way, Love may feel as if it ends but only because it evolves or changes,” I said, allowing the weapons of the shadow to stay where they were in my heart.
“But why choose at all among these fickle emotions,” said Heartbreak. “Why not pick Time or Eternity to rule? Love causes suffering and Love conquers but at a great personal cost.”
For the third time, Heartbreak cut me with his swords. I found myself pinned to the ground and all around me, pierced by the swords of heartbreak, appeared other unfortunate souls, unable to free themselves from the pain of love ending.
“Badger, I need you,” I said and my friend appeared just out of reach, held down by Heartbreak’s swords like the rest of us. I tried to grasp Badger’s claws but I couldn’t reach him and Heartbreak’s storm rushed and pulled at me, driving the swords deeper into my chest and the ground.
I ceased my struggle and allowed the storm to rage, listening to the laughter of Heartbreak and the weakening cries of those around me. I allowed the pain in my chest to fill me and permeate my being. “Heidi, don’t you dare give up,” Badger cried, sending a wave of love in my direction like a blast of pure energy.
Heartbreak stood between us and absorbed the love into his storm. I took a calming breath and felt the sting caused by this creature deep in my soul. Then, I said, “If all things, even Love, have a beginning and an end, then so must you, Heartbreak.”
The monster turned from torturing my Badger and focused all of his fury upon me. “If all things have a beginning and an end, then in the impermanence of the moment it is upon us, those who see the truth behind reality, to make the choice of what we will focus upon,” I said. Heartbreak thrust sword after sword into my body but somehow I didn’t feel the pain of it anymore.
“And with all my free will,” I said, gazing into the monster’s lost eyes. “I still choose Love.” Heartbreak gave a howl and broke into a million pieces, his swords disappearing, and all those who were trapped within his storm fled in every direction.
Then, Dream, my gossamer guardian, appeared on the horizon of that forsaken place, coming towards us like an avenging angel. The sheer power of his approach unraveled the fabric of the shadow’s reality. It completely blasted apart and my Badger dove for me as I was thrown out of the door of Heartbreak’s room back into Merlin’s library, where Oberon caught me before I could hit the floor.
Merlin calmly stirred a bubbling cauldron over the fireplace as Oberon led Badger and I to seats nearby. “That was well done, Heidi,” said Merlin. “For in banishing Heartbreak, you have cleared the way for new dreams.”
Above the cauldron in the smoking froth, a tiny doorway appeared and it burst open. Glittery cubes of thought forms spilled from it into Merlin’s waiting hands like candy from a dispenser. But then, even as more dreams and fantasies appeared, I heard the now familiar laughter of Heartbreak spilling from the portal through reality.
“With new dreams comes the chance for new heartbreak,” observed Oberon. “But, mighty Dream is there to fight that potential until you choose to banish it again.” Even as the elf king spoke, Lickspittle’s roar sounded alongside the laughter of the monster of broken hearts.
“My poor friend,” I said. “Does he never get any rest? Because where I come from such struggles seem never ending.”
“The dragon exists in dreams and fantasies to challenge Heartbreak,” said Oberon. “And his reward is the growth and evolution of your psyche, the expansion of the inner worlds.”
“Each hurdle you overcome gives him more power and free reign so do not pity the lizard,” the elf continued. “Pity those who choose not to confront their shadow. I know I do.”
Badger and I huddled together for comfort as more dreams and fantasies spilled into Merlin’s study which caused the fight between Heartbreak and Dream to grow louder as well.
There my vision ended.
The Light Congress 