Gate: The Animus
I stepped through the vision gate and was running with a herd of buffalo- panicked and fleeing before a pack of wolves. Badger pushed his way through the herd and we ran together beneath a moon-lighted sky.
“We’ve been running from the enemy a lot lately,” I observed, wiping a drop of sweat from my brow.
“It’s the Devourer or one of its servants,” acknowledged Badger.
My steps slowed as I tired and I turned to face the wolves in resignation. “Don’t give up,” Badger said, tugging on my hand to encourage me onward.
“I am through running from this or any shadow,” I said and opened my arms as the wolves merged into one giant creature who opened his mouth and swallowed me whole.
“Heidi…!” Badger’s voice followed me down the monster’s throat into darkness.
I found myself in a space filled with water and the absence of light, but then I saw ripples forming on the water’s surface and they swept through the darkness. An enormous moth made of the brilliant light of the moon entered my vision. It picked me up in its forelegs and carried me out of the darkness.
“Who are you?” I asked, gazing down at the dark water which moved swiftly beneath us.
“Imagination,” whispered the moth’s wings in response. We moved through the nightmare into a new place filled with tangled vines and green leaves. The moth dropped me into this rich vegetation and disappeared. Badger was at my side a moment later.
“How did you beat me here?” he asked. “I saw the creature take you.”
“Imagination saved me,” I said. “Thank goodness its wings are far more powerful than anyone gives it credit for- otherwise I might have been stuck in that shadow realm for who knows how long.”
“Well, at least you are here now, Heidi. Welcome to the Garden of the Mind,” said Badger. “See the thoughts of the divine as they grow?”
Amongst the thriving sprawling plants, golden globes filled with light glowed with an inner fire. Badger and I walked through the garden and, as my hands brushed the globe-shaped thoughts, miniature visions of what the plants contained flashed through my mind- some of past events, some of feelings, and some of possible futures that I didn’t recognize.
“This is a very beautiful garden,” I said. “But why are we here?”
“That is why,” said Badger and pointed with his long claws towards a gash in the garden’s abundance. The green leaves ended abruptly and the vines were corrupted around a deep furrow, in the center of which stood a lone wolf.
He pawed and tore at the earth, fighting to get at something only he could see. Badger’s hackles raised defensively but the wolf, strangely, sat when he saw us and patiently waited while we approached. His golden eyes studied us carefully.
“Did you do this?” I asked when I stood before the great wolf.
The gray creature sniffed at Badger and then sat again. He opened his mouth and a voice emerged: “My pack is there. I can feel them calling to me. Would you help me fetch them out?”
“Where is your family?” I asked as the ground shifted and a doorway appeared in the earth. “Of course I will help you.”
Badger laid a cautious paw on my arm. “This could be the Devourer in disguise,” he said quietly. Then, turning to the being before us once more, he said: “Why should we help you, Wolf?”
“The pack protects the mind, provides encouragement when one feels alone, and tirelessly defends those it loves,” said the wolf. “Opening the portal was enough. I will free my brothers on my own.”
“No, Wolf,” I said. “You will not go alone. Badger and I will walk with you.” The three of us climbed through the doorway and went down a path into further darkness. Ahead, there came a sound like branches breaking over and over, and I saw a roiling, shifting mass through the waiting shadows.
The sound revealed itself to be a bunch of Venus fly traps, biting and snapping at each other in the absence of further prey. Then, they perceived me and my companions, and the plants threw themselves in our direction, tearing and wrenching to get to our flesh.
Badger growled in warning, but Wolf began to convulse. His gray fur changed to midnight black and his eyes, which had been a buttery gold, morphed into fiery red orbs. “Climb aboard my back,” he snarled. “I will take us through this obstacle.”
“Heidi, we don’t know who this pack belongs to,” Badger said. “Maybe it would be best to leave the wolves as they are.”
“I never desert friends in need,” I said. Badger nodded once then melded into my spirit as I climbed atop the black wolf. He took off like a bullet, straight into the hungry, multi-mouthed plants.
Wolf rolled and dodged, running faster and faster, but then one of the plants caught his paw and we fell through the vines as if they were made of nothing but shadow. Tumbling through the changing light, the wolf and I landed in yet another world filled with mist.
“Which way?” asked the wolf as his fur changed from midnight black back to gray.
“Wait a moment,” I advised. “And our path will be revealed.”
We stood silently together in the fog until a giant cobra slithered through the mist, passing through us as if we weren’t there. Another cobra appeared and repeated this action. “We will go to where the shadow is originating,” I said. “Snake is an old friend of mine- he would not lead us false.” Wolf and I began picking our way through the mist while the phantom snakes indicated which way to turn our steps.
After some time, we came to a place where the drops of liquid coalesced into something thicker and tackier like a spider’s web. In the center of this space, a dozen lumps lay beneath the webbing and Wolf ran to them, tearing at the sticky fog with his teeth. “It’s the wolf pack,” he snarled.
As I knelt to try my hand at the webbing, a mammoth face pushed itself against the covering fog and a featureless man began to speak: “Little fly, tell me why shouldn’t I consume you now.”
I ignored the voice and tore at the bindings of the wolves. “You are just a shadow like so many other shadows,” I said. “Tell me why I shouldn’t set this place on fire and send you back into the darkness of the void.” The face continued to push upwards and a man made of webbing and fog stepped forth from the mist.
“Little fly, little morsel, shadow has a purpose too,” the spirit said. “You asked me to bind the pack because they were making trouble for you. These passion-filled beasts were wrecking your garden and you invited me in to restore some measure of peace. Don’t you remember anything at all?”
“I don’t believe you,” I said, light coming from my hands and banishing the webs atop the wolves, who lay on the ground, senseless and seemingly dead.
“I could not come in without your permission,” the being of webbing and starlit mist said. “I assure you of that.” Wolf gave a howl which woke his pack who came to their feet in a snarling rage. “You will regret freeing these beasts for they will claw you, rend you, and feed on your dreams.”
“The only monster here is you,” growled the Wolf as he and his pack began to shape shift into fearsome, black-furred versions of themselves. The web-covered spirit split in twain and a mass of gigantic spiders poured out of the space his body had occupied. Howling in unison, the wolves engaged the insects.
My wolf threw me upon his back again by grabbing my forearm with his teeth and ran us further into the webbing while the pack fought against the spiders. “There is a deeper wound here where the Shadow came through,” he said. “If you do not heal it, the Devourer’s servants will destroy them all.”
“Take me there,” I commanded and we barreled on through the darkness. With a final leap, we broke through the webbing and stood within one of the golden fruits from the Garden of the Mind. But, this fruit was swollen and sickly, and the light that came from it was gray and waning.
I strode to the very center of the space where a beating heart was pathetically writhing, hopelessly skewered with three sharp swords. I pulled the weapons out, but more appeared, and the heart became like a pincushion. “I can’t pull them out fast enough,” I said. “I’m afraid this thought is lost.”
I turned to Wolf to get his opinion but he was changing again. This time, he became the Animus clothed only in the skin of a gray wolf.
“Heidi,” he said. “Did I hurt you?”
“You did,” I said and the beating heart gave one last twitch and ceased its struggles. “You broke my heart though I do not believe that was your intent.”
“You injured me too,” he said and showed me his chest where, across the front, lay the deep, angry marks of the claws of my badger.
“I am so sorry,” I said. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” I ran my hands across his chest and the wound healed. “Why is it,” I asked. “That love can cause such pain? I didn’t believe that was possible.”
“It’s not,” my Animus said. “Injuries are only shadows.” Then, he took my face in his hands and kissed me in that dark place. The heart began to beat again, the swords flying out of it in a clatter and then, the walls of the thought itself began to tremble and shake. “You must leave this place,” he said and abruptly changed back into a wolf.
“I won’t leave you in the darkness where the Shadow will come again to bind you,” I said.
“Please,” Wolf said. “If you ever trusted or loved me, go now.” Badger appeared at my side and, placing my hands upon his familiar head, we climbed together out of the quickly disintegrating thought.
I turned back to assure myself that my Animus was going to be safe just in time to see his fanged mouth gape impossibly wide and the Wolf swallowed the beating heart whole. The world exploded in a flash of light and I fell into the pack of wolves in the Garden of the Mind.
They enthusiastically bumped and rubbed against me, delighting in their freedom. Then, one of them gave a howl which set them all howling and, with a whisper of motion, they ran into the garden and were gone. Where the injurious furrow had lain, there now stood a new vibrant trailing vine with beautiful golden fruit. Where the doorway into the space had appeared, a tiny, ruby-colored thought grew and glowed with a completely different light than the rest of the fruit within the garden.
I gently brushed it with a fingertip and saw, in my mind, my Animus fast asleep and covered with a wolf skin. Badger bumped into me and broke my contact with the fruit. “Let it ripen, Heidi,” he advised. “All is well. Come with me, please.”
Badger led me past countless other growing things into a portion of the garden that shone with green light and to a thick, round, brightly shining fruit. “This thought you must see,” he said and pressed my palm to its surface with his paw.
I saw myself sitting at a table with a stack of books I had written next to me. A line of people stood waiting and I signed the texts for them, one after another, smiling and taking pictures. I heard Badger whisper: “There are so many beautiful thoughts to think. Choose to harvest the good ones.”
There my vision ended.
The Light Congress 