Gate: Eight of Wands
I stepped through the vision gate and found myself standing on black, shining stone like polished obsidian. Crystals of the same type of rock were falling all around me. When they hit the ground, they pulverized with a sound like glass breaking.
At first, I put my arms over my head to protect myself from the falling stone but I realized that they were not striking me. Though their pattern seemed to be random, the reality was anything but random and the shining stone was actually performing a complex and choreographed dance as it fell from high above.
Crystals continued to fall like a rainstorm as I walked through this strange landscape. I could see neither plant nor animal life, only shining stone upon the ground and falling from the sky. After some time and exploration of the realm, a stone staircase rose out of the rocks beneath my feet and I began to ascend the smooth black stone steps.
“I require a guide,” I said aloud, putting one foot carefully after another upon the stairs. A circle, made of the same stone that comprised everything else, came out of the ground in response to my summons. It reflected my face back to me like a black mirror.
“A guide, a guide, a guide,” my voice echoed back out of the circle.
“Hello, my friend! My name is Heidi and I require some assistance through this world,” I said. I closely watched my face’s reflection on the smooth surface of the shining stone. Her mouth didn’t move to form each word I spoke like a true reflection nor did the voice repeat my every word like a true echo. She chose the words and actions that she wanted to repeat. The effect was somewhat eerie.
“Assistance through this world, this world, this world,” she mimicked me, floating to the height of my shoulder as I continued up the stairs.
“Do you have no words of your own?” I asked. “Usually my guides are quite talkative. Not that I’m complaining really, I appreciate the companionship more than the conversation.”
“No words, no words, no words…” the stone mirror said. “Not complaining, not complaining, not complaining.”
“Do you have a name?” I asked when the vibrations of her response finally died away. “If we can’t communicate effectively, at least I will know what to call you.”
“Echo, Echo, Echo…” she said clearly with my face and voice. Then, she became silent despite my further attempts to draw her out. As I continued to climb the steps, she floated breezily beside me, a quiet presence who gave me courage to venture onwards. Every once in a while, I could swear the face in the mirror was being silly, sticking her tongue out at me and making funny faces, but when I turned to look directly at her, Echo returned to sedately reflecting my expression.
The stairs continued upwards a long way. On either side, facing inwards, stone lion statues with wings lining the walkway appeared. They were made of the same shiny stone as the stairs and my guide, Echo. I passed countless winged lions until finally, we approached a throne at the very top of the black stone steps. A final set of wings unfurled on either side of this throne with their tips indicating the very center, where a figure sat. Light descended from on high and illuminated the chair.
I took the final steps, grateful to have finished the long journey, stood before the dark throne and bowed my head in respect. “Hello,” I said to the spirit who sat upon it. “Who are you, Great One of the Winged Lions?”
“Who indeed,” he replied curtly. “Who asks?” The being leaned forward in his seat and put his elbows upon his knees as he gazed intently at me. I could feel his sight upon me like a heavy weight and I shook myself lightly to escape the sensation of the increasing and uncomfortable pressure. Though his visage was wrapped in the shadows and darkness of his realm, I could perceive blonde, curly hair and the barest indication of angular features and cutting cheekbones.
Echo left my presence, flew immediately to the being’s side and began to reflect his face and movements though his countenance was as shadowed in her reflection as it was to my eyes. “Who asks, who asks, who asks…” she echoed the ruling power of her realm.
“My name is Heidi. I have come seeking the nature of this place and you,” I said. “I have traveled a long way to speak with you and appreciate anything you may have to teach me.”
The spirit leaned back upon his throne and I felt the pressure of his intense attention abating somewhat. “I am Narcissus,” he said, coldly. “I care not how far you have come nor how far you will yet go.”
“Narcissus, Narcissus, Narcissus…” came the echo from the mirror.
“My nature is perfection and beauty,” he said. “Those who dare to stand before me shall demonstrate this reflection of my true nature to the detriment of their own. I demand the appearance of perfection as the cost of being in my presence and sharing in my wisdom. And you will want to share in my wisdom, I promise you this, before your journey is complete, imperfect wanderer.”
“Perfection, perfection, perfection…” whispered Echo.
“I was born this way and will forever be the most extraordinary being in nature,” Narcissus said. “Those around me are the best and most extraordinary of their realms as well. I must say, I find your presentation lacking in both style and substance. However did you find your way to my door? Which of my reflections sent you my way?” The being turned to the mirror of Echo and began to admire his own face, completely ignoring me though continuing his diatribe.
“Most extraordinary, most extraordinary, most extraordinary…” said Echo.
“My mother’s greatest gift to this world was me and after she had completed that bit of genius, she promptly died, leaving me to the care of my father, who knew nothing of beauty nor understood it,” said Narcissus. “That makes no matter to me for I have legions of adoring subjects whilst his name has been forgotten in this world and many others. You shall not meet my friends now or ever unless you pull yourself together. Where is your physical beauty? Is it hidden beneath the mud of your unsculpted face or non-existent? There have been great advances in beauty treatments for hopeless cases like you, you know.”
“Greatest gift, greatest gift, greatest gift…” sighed Echo.
The god played with some of the gorgeous curls of his hair and arranged them delicately across his forehead in the perfect representation of a classical sculpture. Echo played no silly games with him like she had with me and carefully showed his exact movements down to the last detail.
“If you’re done insulting me, I will answer some of your questions,” I said. “But first, Narcissus, you shall answer some of mine. What do you do to spend your days?”
The spirit turned his haughty eyes towards me for a brief moment. “I appreciate my own existence through my godly reflection. I critique the appearances of others to place them appropriately within my realm in order of their importance and physical beauty,” he said. “My discernment separates the wheat from the chaff. What do you do, sirrah?”
“I appreciate, appreciate, appreciate…” came the echo from the mirror.
“What did you just call me? How dare you,” I said. “I am a seeker and an explorer of this world and many others. I have spoken to gods and goddesses as well as beings of elemental natures of various types and other ruling powers whom I have yet to fully understand or know. Through all that, I have never been treated the way that you are treating and speaking with me today. Your opinion of my physical form is of no interest to me and, in fact, makes me feel like hiking back down your stairs and never darkening your threshold again. I have friends too, you see, and I am very curious of what they would make of you. Tell me, blind Narcissus, have you ever ventured beyond your own reflection to see more of this place and what it contains?”
“And waste my time? No, thank you,” he said and vainly turned back to his mirror, cleaning his teeth and smoothing his eyebrows. “Your words bore me as much as your face. Do us both a favor and end this audience before I lose my temper.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” whispered Echo.
“Too late for I have lost my temper and now you shall hear how I view you, you vain snob,” I said. “You sit upon a throne of darkness and shadow in an empty world with only mirrors for company. When you have times of trouble or struggle, none shall come to your side because you have driven them all away with your insufferable sorting system of beauty and perfection. Who could possibly live up to the expectations that you have expressed to me today? No one, that’s who.”
Narcissus gave a surprised laugh. “The cat has claws,” he said. “Well, thank god you’re not a complete waste of space. Tell me, bottom rung, what else do you see about my nature? Your misguided notions are curious indeed. Many have become the paragons of beauty that I have demanded of them because the rewards are worth every physical discomfort that such transformation requires.”
“Paragons of beauty…” Echo said.
“I may not be a power of the world like you, Narcissus,” I said. “But I know that beauty is as fleeting and ephemeral as youth. Chasing either for its own sake is a waste of time that might be better spent on higher pursuits to improve the mind and spirit, neither of which appear on the face or skin. Also, the standards of beauty change so much over time and culture that one might twist themselves into an unnatural fit just to please you and your adherents but then one day look in the mirror and realize that they don’t recognize themselves anymore. I will not lose myself running after an impossibility or to fit in with your friends. I will not ask those I love to do so either.”
“Then you accept an existence of mediocrity,” the god said with a sigh. “It is your loss and my gain for I will not lower my standards simply because you disapprove of me. As I said before, I care not about your past or future or journey at all other than how it contributes to my glorious reflection in nature, mine and mine alone.”
“Mine, mine, mine,” Echo whispered.
“That is quite enough of that,” I said. “Thank you, Narcissus for your time though not for your disgusting views on the physical form. I think I understand your nature now and I will understand it more through every insult to my body that comes my way throughout the rest of my existence. Though you claim to have many friends and admirers, I see no one beside you but a spirit who shares your reflection and voice for reasons that I’m certain she has but she can’t even communicate them because she’s so wrapped up in whatever half-life existence this is in your orbit. Now, my next question is for Echo. Have you ever ventured beyond his reflection, my friend? Would you like to?”
The god turned to me with a puzzled look upon his shadowed features but his reflection in the mirror depicted wide-eyed terror. “What new nonsense is this?” Narcissus asked. “Who is Echo?”
“That circle, your admiring reflection, she has a name. She told me,” I said. “I require a guide in this world and I would like to ask for her help in leaving your presence as soon as humanly possible.”
Narcissus burst into laughter. “My mirror has a name?” he said. “You are mad as well as ugly.” The god’s reflection looked at him sadly and then began to stretch from a circle into the shape of a woman with long, flowing hair. She was still made out of black stone like her mirrored form and reflected every light and shadow around her. Narcissus’ eyes grew huge as he watched her remarkable transformation from a simple sphere to a person.
“She has a name,” Echo used the sound of my voice to speak to the god. “A guide. I would like to… help.”
“Come now, Echo,” I said. “Let’s leave this place. He will be fine without you for a few moments of stolen time.”
Narcissus sat in his chair as far away from the stone woman as he could get without rising. “You are nothing but my reflection. How dare you be a woman and not a mirror! Leave me? You go back as you were. Immediately!” he demanded.
Echo gave him one last look, longing and helpless love in her eyes. “How dare you…” she said in his voice and walked towards me and the waiting stair.
“Mirror!” Narcissus screamed and drops of spittle flew from his lips in his rage. “If you leave, don’t bother to ever come back. I don’t need you. I never needed you. I don’t need anyone.”
“I needed you…needed you… needed you…” Echo whispered, somehow draining his voice of all of its anger but using his tone all the same. As the woman of black stone passed by me, she gestured for me to follow by pointing a single finger down the steps. We left Narcissus in his place of power to have his temper tantrum alone. He was still screaming words of hate that I did my best to ignore as we left the throne room and moved quickly through endless hallways of black, polished stone.
Echo moved before me in perfect silence. Her legs blended into the stone of the floor and soon I was following a torso along the ground rather than a full sized woman. “You know,” I said conversationally as we went. “You don’t have to stay with Narcissus and take that sort of abuse. There are many beautiful things to see and do in the world rather than staying eternally with someone who can only truly appreciate himself. Have you ever considered going somewhere else and pledging your loyalty to a different power?”
“Beautiful to see…” whispered Echo with such sadness that I didn’t say anything more about her situation.
We came to the end of the hallway with such abruptness that I nearly walked over the edge of a cliff that had appeared in front of us. Echo deftly caught my arm before I tripped over the side.
“That was close,” I said. “Thanks for the catch.”
That was… that was… that was,” Echo agreed.
“Which way now?” I asked and Echo gestured to a narrow passageway that ran down the side of the cliff into a deep chasm made of polished stone. “Thank you so much for your help. I’m sure that when you return to Narcissus, he won’t even remember that you had gone,” I said. “If you ever reconsider your place at his side, know that you will be welcomed among the company of my friends. Be well, Echo, as well as you can in this sad place. I’ll never forget you, I promise you that.”
The woman made of mirrored stone smiled briefly at me and said, in her own voice for the first time, “I love him,” she said. “Count me among your friends now and be well, Heidi.” Then, she changed back into the shape of a small circle-shaped mirror, sank into the floor, and was gone.
I took a moment to contemplate the place where Echo had vanished, then turned and descended the stairway. It was so narrow that I could easily put out my right hand along the face of the cliff while my left arm extended above the void on the opposite side. “I wonder where I am,” I mused aloud as I continued downwards into further darkness and shadow.
“She wonders where she is.” She wonders where she is.” “She wonders.” “She wonders!” I heard voices coming from the cliff and all around me though I could not see their source. Unlike Echo’s perfect mimicry, these voices all had their own tones and inflections.
“Where am I?” I asked the stairwell and the air in general.
The rocks of the cliff answered me in unison. “The Valley of Echoes,” they said. Then there was a clamor as they all started to talk at once. “She wonders where she is, silly person.” “Seems obvious doesn’t it?” “Echo showed her the way.” “Echo had to have shown her the way, otherwise she would have never gotten here.” “Outsiders can’t come here.” “This one has…”
“Everyone calm down, please. I can’t understand when you talk all at once,” I said.
One voice emerged from the general noise. “Welcome to the Valley of Echoes. Why have you come?” he said. As he spoke, I reached the bottom of the stairwell and beheld a narrow valley of dark shadows. As my feet touched the ground, the black rock cracked and fissures of brilliant light emerged from my footsteps across the mirrored stone.
“My name is Heidi,” I spoke into the darkness. “I am a seeker. I bring light to the shadows and hope to dark places. Who are you?”
The shadows drew away from a spot in front of me and revealed a standing oval mirror as tall as I was. It spun, end over end, by what means, I could not tell. As I came closer to it, I saw myself reflected briefly in its surface- young, old, as I am now, again and again the reflection changed in the spinning mirror. Then, in between these glimpses, I saw other figures, men, rich and poor, women, dressed in strange garments, and somehow I knew that these people were also me. They were reflections of other lives, other times and other existences but all still me in essence.
The mirror spun and spun hypnotically, drawing me closer to it and controlling my vision as simply as if I was in a trance. I came as close as I could without touching it and the mirror stopped spinning. Its glass surface became as dark as the stone around me and all reflections disappeared.
Then, from the depths of the mirror, a disembodied head appeared. It was more like a mask than a true face with shadows for eyes and a mouth with no teeth or tongue. “I am the father of Echo,” said this being. “You stand before the Mirror of Shadows, seeker. Why have you come?”
“My name is Heidi and I have come seeking the nature of this place. But, I need to tell you, I feel as if Echo is being treated terribly,” I said. “She stays with Narcissus and shows him his reflection but never receives any attention or affection for her devotion and care. As her father, I feel like you should intervene.”
The Mirror laughed meanly. Then, he reflected my image back to me. “As her father, I feel like you should intervene,” he said, twisting both my voice and my image to create a cruel reflection. Then, his masked visage came to the front again. “Echo is her own person,” the Mirror of Shadows said. “She used to gaze into me every day and I showed her the wonders of the world- every man, woman, and child on the face of the earth, every beautiful place, every waterfall, every crystal. I showed her all. This is my gift, to reflect things as they are in their innate perfection and promised completeness.”
As he spoke, his face faded and I saw on his reflection the figure of Echo standing beside the mirror. His surface showed many people and places to his daughter, just as he said.
“Until the cursed day that she asked me to show her the most beautiful man in the world,” he grumbled. I saw the shadowed face of Narcissus in the mirror in a reflection of the past and the observing Echo’s eyes widened at the beauty she saw within. “She never knew that such beauty existed in this place or any other. As my child, she could reflect anything that she wanted and, because he was the most beautiful, she chose him,” the Mirror of Shadows said. “I miss her and I wish every day that she would come home to me and her family, at least, the ones of us who remain in this forsaken corner of the inner worlds. But she does not.”
The vision faded and the mask reappeared upon the mirror. “Now, seeker named Heidi, I shall turn my accursed gift upon you and you shall see yourself as you truly are…”
I looked into the mirror and I saw myself at work in the public library of my waking world. I saw myself through the eyes of the people who came up to me- day after day, in different outfits, with different hair, at different times. In vision after vision, I saw myself staring into a computer screen and then turning dazed eyes again and again to help with questions from those who came to the library needing my help.
The mask of the spirit of the mirror laid himself over these visions and mocked me. “How are you so different from Narcissus admiring himself, Heidi?” he said. “Does not your work entrance and beguile you as much as he is bedazzled by his own reflection? Do you give these visitors your time and your full attention? Are you a god of your inner world or simply an echo of a far greater reality?”
For a moment, I started to doubt myself and my way of moving through the world. As I watched myself in the mirror from the perspective of a person outside of myself, I felt as if I was enthralled by what I saw on my computer screen and it had my full attention rather than the person in front of me. But then, instead of only seeing myself in that initial moment of contact with each person, the mirror showed me interacting with them.
I helped people print papers, find books, answer questions, and complete faxes. I saw myself solving problems, soothing tempers, and showing people the way around the library and to whatever information it was that they were seeking. I saw all of this and more, and I smiled in relief at my new perspective on reality.
“Mirror, I am not like Narcissus,” I said. “I may be distracted sometimes when people approach me, but when I find that they need my attention, I help. I do not ignore them. I do not focus completely on myself though I do take time for self improvement because by becoming more than I was helps me uplift others around me for the betterment of all. It’s a balancing act, isn’t it? Between pursuing your own agenda and helping others to do the same? Well, I’m doing the best I can. That’s all I can ask of myself and what I chose to ask of those I come into contact with. Just do the best you can.”
Together, the Mirror of Shadows and I watched my reflection for a few moments more and I felt, in his silence, that he agreed with my assessment. Then, the visions of my daily life disappeared and the mirror’s mask-like face appeared again upon his surface.
“You are right,” he whispered. “You are no Narcissus but you are not a simple reflection either. I wonder what you truly are.” The being’s face started to fade back into the background of the mirror. “If you have any compassion within you, I ask you to help my progeny find her strength again. I weep for Echo. I mourn for her. I mourn my daughter…”
Beneath my feet, the light from the small cracks in the rock that had followed my steps throughout the realm spread rapidly and the ground began to break apart. I floated off the stone surface and away from the dark valley and saw, from a further perspective, that I had been standing on the eyelid of a giant made of black, shining stone. As I watched, the giant’s eyes opened with a sound like rumbling thunder.
With his eyes now fully open, he rose from the ground where he had been laying as a pile of separate rocks and began to walk away from me. Tears fell from his eyes and those were the black, crystal-like stones that were falling from the sky in the beginning of my exploration of this world.
I reached out and caught one of the tears before it hit the ground and shattered in my hand leaving a single large shard behind. Reflected in its center, I beheld Narcissus and Echo, floating loyally beside him, reflecting back to him his lovely face and spite-laced words of judgement.
Then, the voice of the Mirror of Shadows whispered through the shard in my hand: “I show the things of the world as they are. My dear daughter, Echo, shows them as she wishes they would be. That is her gift and her doom.” I saw Narcissus smile into his mirror and his dazzling smile flashed back at him in perfect mimicry. “She loves and can see nothing but love…”
The tear’s remnants exploded in my hand and the vision ended.
The Light Congress 