Gate: Ace of Cups
I entered the vision gate and stars were falling from the sky. I caught one as it fell and it turned into a crying baby and back to a twinkling star. I released it and watched as the sky seemed to fall to earth and everything turned the color of ash.
Then, the earth gave a tremendous heave and an obsidian statue of a man began to rise from the ground. It grew until it towered above me.
“I require a guide,” I said and Badger came running. “My dear friend,” I said and embraced him. “Where are we going today?”
“To a place out of time,” he said. “Are you ready, Heidi?”
“I am as ready as I will ever be,” I replied. Side by side, we walked towards the giant statue. A doorway appeared at its feet and we passed through.
Through the doorway, I saw running creatures. The group consisted of all manner of animals: deer, bear, lions, foxes, animals that came out of dreams like dragons and unicorns, and ancient, extinct animals that I have never seen walk upon the earth. They were all running as if their lives depended upon it, but from what I could not discern.
Badger began to run too.
“Join with me,” he said, “I will keep you safe.” I melted into his body and became one with his consciousness.
We looked over our furry shoulder and saw a wall of darkness behind the animals and it came ever closer. Badger ran next to the largest deer I have ever seen with antlers like tree limbs. “Friend, what comes?” we said.
“The darkness, the devourer, the evil one,” he replied. Hysteria moved through the crowd of animals and we raced even faster. Finally, we gathered together on a high hill top. All of the animals came close, the predators stood with the prey, and turned together to face the shadow as I continued to gaze out of Badger’s eyes.
The wall of darkness came to the hilltop and divided itself into a crowd of shouting, angry humans. One separated itself from the group and moved forward. He wore a crown on his head and dripped with darkness.
“Creatures of the Earth,” he called. “We are many and you are few. We have dominion over you until the end of time. Your young shall feed our children and your bodies shall clothe our flesh.”
The animals wailed in fear and cowered closer together. “Badger,” I whispered. “I must go speak to this shadow.”
“Heidi, don’t go. He will consume you,” my friend replied in distress.
“I am not afraid.” I removed my consciousness from Badger’s body and rose from him as a body of light. A pelt of badger fur covered my nakedness. “Hello, Great One,” I said as I moved to the front of the animals. “Who are you?”
“I am consumption,” whispered the shadow king. He raised a dark knife above his head and drove it into my body. I saw light spill from me onto the ground and the shadow reached greedy hands into it and ate. Then, he looked up and saw that I was still whole so he drove his knife into me again. Again, light spilled and he ate. Once more, he saw that I remained full of spirit so he drove his knife into my chest and removed my heart. He consumed that, yet I was still standing.
“Have you had your fill?” I asked.
“How do you still exist?” the shadow king said. He drew the shouting, angry crowd of human shadows into himself and became one large, dense darkness.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I am you,” said the shadow and it changed into me- a dark version of me with fire for eyes and dripping with oily, liquid darkness.
“If you are me,” I said. “Then, what is it that I love?”
“To consume, to devour!” My shadow self grew huge and opened her mouth to swallow the hilltop and all who were on it.
“You appear as me, but you are not me,” I said. “If you were, you would know what I love. Furthermore, consumption isn’t a thing, it is an action. If you communicate better through action, Shadow, then tell me what action do I love more than any other?”
The darkness grew smaller so that it was my size again, but it still appeared to be me. “I seek dominion over all things.”
I opened my arms so that the light shone from my body onto the shadow. “I love to seek and discover. I am an explorer,” I said. “You are not me. So, who are you?” I walked forward and the shadow self collapsed into an oily puddle and started to move away from me over the ground.
“Who are you?” I asked again as it moved away from me. Finally, the darkness withdrew into a deep hole in the earth and all became still and silent. The animals came down from the hill and stood on the edge of this hole with me. We gazed into the waiting darkness.
“You sent it away!” exclaimed Badger and a cheer went up from the gathered animals.
“Perhaps,” I said. “But I didn’t find out who it was. I must confront the shadow.”
“No need for it is contained there,” Badger replied.
“Contained but not vanquished.” I embraced my furry friend. “Do not fear for me. I walk into dark places but I always come out again. Will you go with me into the dark?”
“The hole is too small,” said Badger. “I cannot go with you into this place.”
I looked at the animals around me. “Is there no one able to come with me into the shadows?” I cried. Then, I heard a squeak and a rustling at my feet.
“I will do this,” said a voice and a white mouse ran up my leg and down my arm into my hand. There was a grumbling noise from the other animals.
“No. Mouse, you’re too small to be any help,” one of the creatures shouted. “She needs someone brave and strong. Let’s send the lion,” yelled another.
“Mouse is the only one small enough to come,” I said. “I will be honored to have her accompany me.” The little mouse gave a pleased squeak and ran to my forehead where she melded into it. I gave Badger one last hug and moved towards the hole. He was at my heels until I stepped into the murk.
“Be careful,” he said as I slipped down into the darkness.
I heard Mouse’s squeak in my mind. “I can’t see anything. It is all so dark!”
“Don’t panic, Mouse,” I said. “There is nothing yet to see.” Then, I landed in darkness on a stone surface.
I heard raspy breathing and a throne of shadow appeared. On it, a shadow figure sat, wearing a crown and a new cloak of darkness that fluttered at its shoulders like wings. The cloak moved as it breathed, giving the impression of a huge bird at rest or a dragon.
“Who brings light into my darkness?” Its voice was a moaning scream.
“I bring peace to the disquieted mind,” I said. “My name is Heidi. Who are you?”
The being straightened and its cloak flew outwards and enveloped me. “I am a great power of the earth. I am the devourer of hope.” Amongst the folds of darkness, I heard the screams of dying men. “I bring all war. I destroy all things.” I saw gravestones in the millions and heard the cries of countless women. “I am Fear. I own your soul.” I looked directly at the shadow and saw myself on the dark throne. My eyes were filled with fire and darkness flowed out of me.
I looked down at my own body and perceived that I was still illuminated though it didn’t do much good against the great shadow. I opened my arms to bring light to the dark.
The shadow self laughed. “You bring that tiny hope into my lair and expect me to fear you? You are nothing more than a mouse.”
More darkness flew at me and manic laughter filled my ears. I was driven backwards a few steps and I heard Mouse scream in my mind with fear.
I gathered myself, planted my feet and faced the throne squarely. “No, Fear,” I said. “I do not intend to scare you. Instead, I wish to introduce you to another of the great powers of the earth. You know her already.”
Behind me, a massive glow illuminated the darkness. A throne made of light appeared opposite to the throne of the darkness. A figure that appeared to be me, made entirely of light, sat on it. Her crown was light as Fear’s was dark. Her cloak was light as well and spread out from her. “I give you, Love. She owns my soul, not you.”
Fear looked at Love and began to withdraw for the first time since I entered the darkness. It moaned and its dark face began to melt. With a tremor like an earthquake, bright Love stood from her throne and advanced towards the darkness. She moved behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders.
“Fear and I know each other intimately,” Love’s melodious voice filled the room. Her light continued to drive back the dark. “All beings on earth have experienced the claws of Fear as all have known the relief of my embrace.”
“This one belongs to me,” Fear spat. “Her badger ran from me and cried out in fear. I own her mind.”
Love smiled. “Her badger only ran from you out of love for her.” She continued to hold my shoulders in a strong but gentle grip. Then, the being of light leaned over my shoulder to whisper in my ear.
“Fear throws conditions at me and expects me to submit. But, I know no conditions or boundaries for Love conquers all things.” The darkness on the throne was growing smaller and smaller. “Heidi, take my light and sit on Fear’s throne. You have earned that honor.”
With those words, Love embraced me and became one with me. Her light joined my own and I shone with the brilliance of the sun as I walked towards the dark throne which was now empty and I sat upon it. All around was brilliant light. I found myself sinking into the chair.
Then, I was rising from the dark hole that I had entered earlier and my light shone over the animals still standing around it, waiting anxiously for me. Badger gave a shout. “She has defeated the darkness!” There was a tremendous cheer and all of the animals began to change.
They all turned into mostly human bodies but still retained enough characteristics so that I could see who they had each been before their evolution.
The deer became a man with a rack of horns on his head. Badger became a young man with black hair that stuck up in a mohawk with a white streak in the middle. Bear became a burly man with a bear pelt over his head and shoulders and a naked, hairy chest.
Fox changed into a red haired youth with pointed ears and a fluffy tail. Mouse emerged from my forehead and changed into a beautiful woman with long white hair and a tail. I hugged her.
“Thank you for braving the darkness with me,” I said and a man with cat’s ears, whiskers, and fingernails like claws ran out of the crowd to Mouse. He held her in his arms and gave her a long kiss.
They walked away hand in hand, happily, the Mouse and her Cat.
The group gathered dead wood from the ground and, after lighting a huge bonfire, they danced about it in celebration. Among the creatures, I saw women covered with leaves and grass as if the earth itself were celebrating. Trees in the shape of men with branches for arms and leaves for hair also moved in dance.
Stars began to fall again from the sky and they became beings of light that mixed among the crowd. The bonfire itself turned into fiery women who emerged from its depths and mingled with the creatures and plants. Invisible air currents became women and men made of wispy mist and they held hands and blew around and over the group. Everything in creation that I beheld took on a body and joined the dance.
I sat on a wooden throne in the midst of this celebration. “Friends,” I said. “Before we celebrate further, are there any here who need to speak with me? I will listen to you.”
The noise quieted somewhat and a lithe, young man stepped out of the crowd. He had eyes like a serpent, long black hair, and a forked tongue that moved in and out of his mouth. Badger came running at him.
“Wait, Badger,” I said. “I told anyone that they may speak. Please, let Snake speak his mind.”
Badger looked troubled. “Heidi, don’t let him enchant you with his pretty lies. He is treacherous and false.” Badger drew back his lips and bared his teeth at the Snake.
“Lady,” Snake’s forked tongue spit out once at Badger and then moved back behind his teeth. “Thank you for hearing me out.” He brushed past the bristling Badger and turned his back on him to face me.
“In front of this most august gathering, I ask that you make me a creature of your heart as you have made Badger,” he said. “I have many gifts I can offer you that I feel are superior to his own. Flowing language, smooth evolution, and personal empowerment are all my strengths. I can be of great service to you if you would allow it.”
He glanced over his shoulder at Badger. “This one thinks that he owns you. Tell me that it is not true and I will serve you with all that I have and am. I came to you in the dry desert of Tiphareth when Badger either could not or would not. I desire to help you with all my being.”
Badger exploded with anger. “This one speaks nothing but lies. I have always loved you and protected you, always,” he said. “You don’t require his gifts when you have mine- loyalty, tireless seeking, and pureness of spirit.”
“Badger has my heart, that much is true,” I admitted. Badger smirked at Snake who hooded his eyes in disappointment. “But, he did not take it. It was freely given.”
“Friends, Badger and Snake, you must understand love is the one thing on earth that is not diminished through the sharing of it,” I said. “It only becomes more and gives more.” I beckoned the pair of them closer.
“In the spirit of Love, I now declare that I will not pick one animal spirit of my heart but that I will henceforth have two. Badger and Snake, will you both consent to help me in all my journeys and evolutions?” I said. “Will you be my protectors, advisors, and confidants from now until the end of time?” I reached out my hands and in both I held a large egg.
I offered the one on the left to Snake and the one on the right to Badger. They approached me and knelt at my feet. Then, they raised their hands at the same moment and both accepted the egg from my grasp. The crowd, which I had momentarily forgotten, gave a roar as Badger and Snake rose from the ground bearing my eggs. The celebration began again, more wild and unrestrained than before.
Then, from beyond the bonfire, there was a murmur of sound and the crowd turned towards it, then they began to quiet and kneel in the direction of the disruption.
Badger took my right arm and Snake my left and they led me forward from my throne. “Heidi,” said Badger. “Someone very important has come to see you.”
My friends and I walked through the great bonfire towards the new arrivals. I emerged from the flames and before me was the Green Lady. On her arm, there was a figure made of the sky. His body was darkness, but not like the shadow, and stars covered its surface. His eyes were stars as well as his nose and mouth.
I approached these two and bowed my head. “Hail, Mother Earth and Father Sky,” I said.
“Heidi,” said the Green Lady and her voice echoed through the clearing. “We wanted to thank you for the opportunity to be here today. The earth is forever separate from the sky but today, in this place, we have been able to come together as one,” she said. “We are grateful to you.”
The two figures embraced. Then, suddenly, I saw the earth as if from a great distance in space. It was held in the starry arms of the universal sky and felt whole and complete.
When I could see again, I beheld one figure in front of me. On the left, they were the Green Lady and on the right they were the figure of sky and stars.
This being, which had been two but was now one, raised their arms over me in benediction. “Love conquers all things.”
Then they addressed the crowd and all roared together in unison: “Amor omnia vincit. Amor omnia vincit. Amor omnia vincit!” My vision ended.
The Light Congress 