Gate: Three of Cups
I stepped through the vision gate onto a black, shiny surface like rock made of polished glass. I attempted to walk forward to explore the realm but my feet were held to the ground by a power I could not see and I began to sink through the shadowy substance. Pulled by an unknown force, I fell through the unnatural ground into further darkness.
When I could perceive my surroundings again, a pulsing glow which beat like the rhythm of a giant heart appeared within my sight. The shifting light was calling my name and compelling me towards it. “Heidi, Heidi, Heidi…,” said the light. “Come to me. Come to me. Come to me.”
“I am here,” I said. “I have come. Who calls me?” Rather than reply in words, the light summoned me ever forward as it traced a path with its brightness through the gathering shadows which I could follow with my limited sight. As I drew ever closer to the voice and the light that accompanied the sound, I saw a cave of stone that had shining vines of starlight and mist concealing the entrance. I moved those gently aside and entered a glowing cavern filled with more hanging vines made of light.
“Heidi, come to me,” whispered the voice through the lighted vines.
“I approach as quickly as I am able,” I said. “But I require a guide for I can’t see much beyond the cave.” Immediately, a small flower blossom popped up from the cavern floor next to my feet. She had sticks for feet and arms made of flower stems and was filled with the light from the cave and vines. The flower began to energetically run in circles around me, tracing a pattern only she knew. “Hello, Cave Flower,” I said as she rushed past. “My name is Heidi. Who are you?”
“I am Daisy, Daisy, Daisy,” my guide sang as she continued her manic movements about me.
“You move so quickly for a flower, that I find it hard to believe you truly are one,” I said. “Appearances aside, Daisy, where am I?”
“The Womb of the Mother,” the flower replied. “She calls you, don’t you hear? We better go as fast as our stems can carry us.”
“Yes, I hear her voice but I can’t see the way forward,” I said. “Would you take me to her, please? We’re losing time as I stumble through the shadows.”
“Yes, yes, yes. Come with me!” Daisy said and took off, running down the path that suddenly appeared before her and sped further into the cave. I followed as quickly as I could but there was no matching the extraordinary speed of the flower. I was quite a ways behind her when she turned to me with a smile. “We are here!” she declared as I passed through another cave entrance into a huge, echoing cavern.
On the floor of the cavern, crowds of living flowers like Daisy ran around with ceaseless energy. They congregated at a point of pulsing light in the center of the cave and then moved outwards again, back and forth endlessly like waves upon a shore.
At the very center of the cavern, I beheld a glowing figure with the appearance of a giant queen bee who towered over the flowers. The mammoth spirit was producing eggs shaped like squares or building blocks of light. The flowers rubbed their blossoms on the side of the bee, replacing the queen’s flagging energy with their own through their touch and presence, and removed the eggs as quickly as they were produced. The movement was infinite, quick, but soothing in some manner that felt familiar to me while at the same time being brand new.
“Heidi, come to me,” the voice said, coming from the queen bee herself. I rose above the floor of the cavern and began to float towards her head which jutted up into the heights of the cave. “Come to me, come to me now.”
“Mother, I am here,” I said. “I’m sorry for my lateness. I passed through shadow following in the footsteps of Daisy to find you but I was not as lightning quick as she. What do you require of me?” Up and up I traveled until I was at the level of the queen’s compound eyes.
All of the various eyes focused upon me. “Do not apologize for time spent in seeking me,” the Divine Mother said. “I walked with you as you did so and therefore nothing is ever wasted. To walk the paths or not to walk the paths is an experience which I move through with you, no matter the choice you make or the circumstance it emerges from. Be welcome into my presence.” Then, I was pulled by her summoning energy towards her physical form, shrinking in size until I found myself absorbed into her head and my vision dissolved into light.
Within the mind of the Divine Mother, I saw myself as an infant in a womb of light with a glowing cord connecting me to the infinite. “Be welcome into my world,” said the Divine Mother. I quickly grew from a baby into the woman that I am now and my vision dissolved once more.
“Be welcome into my time,” said the Divine Mother from the formless void my consciousness existed in.
When I could perceive my surroundings again, I discovered the Divine Mother standing next to me in the void of space. She was in the now-familiar shape of a woman made of light with long trailing hair. The goddess wore a sparkling garment woven of the night sky with patterns of stars that dragged on the ground behind her, forming something tangible out of the nothingness of the void with her mere presence.
“Be welcome into my space. Walk with me, Heidi,” she said and began to move forward. “Move as I do.” I tried to follow the goddess but I kept falling into separate molecules of presence and couldn’t keep pace with her steps while holding my form together. “If you follow me on my cloak, you will find this journey easier,” she said when she noticed I was struggling. “I will provide you with form through the formless.”
“Thank you for your help, Mother,” I said. “I’m sorry I keep falling into light and shadow.” The shining cloak that fell from the Divine Mother’s shoulders elongated and formed a stable path for me through the void. By treading upon her garment, we were finally able to walk together for a little while without my sudden disappearance from her reality.
“I have a gift for you, Formless One,” the Divine Mother said. “For consenting to walk with me in a place beyond duality.” We stopped suddenly and she reached into the air of the void about us. A tree appeared and she plucked a large, round fruit from its branches. “Take and eat of the fruit of my tree as you did so long ago,” she said, handing me a pomegranate which she split open with her own hands.
“This is a different tree than the one I first moved through to stand in your presence,” I said, examining the fruit. “That tree produced something akin to a giant grape, something I had never seen with my physical eyes. This is a pomegranate and known to me in my waking world.”
“Perhaps you were smaller the first time you found me,” the goddess said. “As a child grows into an adult so too does the spirit grow while traveling the paths of spiritual evolution.”
“I wouldn’t have thought there’d be any difference in size or appearance for spirit is spirit whether she exists at the more subtle levels of reality or the larger. It is very kind of you to think of me, Mother, and to give another of your fruits for my consumption,” I said. “I feel unworthy of your generosity of spirit for who needs more than one blessing from your endless orchards, not I.” As I spoke, I ate three seeds from the shining red fruit.
“Is that all?” the goddess asked. “Only three?”
“I don’t want to consume it all at once,” I answered. “This is a sacred gift from you and I would savor it.”
“Oh Heidi, don’t you understand?” the Divine Mother said. “You are the seed. You are the fruit. You are the tree. You are all these things. I can give you ever so much more so why limit yourself to three? See the abundance of all creation!” The goddess walked over to the trunk of the tree and gestured upwards. The tree’s branches were weighed down with fruit, each pomegranate at least as large as the one I held in my hands.
“Mother, if I am the seed, fruit, and tree, what are you?” I said as the pomegranate I was given melded into my spirit through my hands.
The goddess smiled and light came from her countenance, sending the observing shadows further away as I stood within a large circle formed by her guardian presence. “I am the cells of the seed, the cells of the fruit, the cells of the tree,” she said. “I am you, your form and foundation.” The Divine Mother moved past the tree. “See Heidi, the orchard of ideas, forms, and creations that I have prepared for you and all who seek me.”
Trees like the one the goddess had plucked the fruit from appeared from as far as I could see in either direction. They were all laden with fruit like our tree, waiting to be harvested and enjoyed. “I have given you enough in this place for you to explore for ten thousand life times if that is what you desire,” she said. “I am the abundance that provides choice.”
The goddess moved through the orchard, touching first this tree then that. I stood as if rooted to the ground beside the tree I had eaten the fruit from. Pomegranates spilled from the branches in the Divine Mother’s passage and split open on the ground, revealing piles of tempting seeds waiting to be discovered and devoured by those in need of their sustenance.
The Divine Mother stopped in the center of the endless trees and her hair lengthened so that it filled the sky. Her feet became roots that reached deeply down into the earth. She became a pillar of light that filled the sky and infused the ground, forming the foundation of the orchard and all that I could see. “Heidi, come to me,” the goddess spoke in her new form, her voice coming from both below and above. “Why do you hesitate?”
I took a few stumbling steps in the goddess’ direction, relearning how to use my limbs after an unknown amount of time pretending to be a tree. “Forgive me, I am remembering a way of life I once knew but have seemingly forgotten. There is no need to call me, Mother, for I am awake and I hear your voice,” I said. “I have planted your seeds in my spirit and await your further wisdom and understanding. What lesson do you require me to learn to assist others in their spiritual journeys?”
The goddess’ laughter echoed through the trees. “I desired for you to taste of the tree, not become it. No matter, even this experience of physical form is not wasted for plants know much of the Inner Worlds and the ruling powers therein. So you see, child, you ask me for one lesson and I give you thousands. Come and join with me,” she said. “Through the unity of our spirits, you will learn far more than my words can teach you. Direct experience is a lesson that is not as easily forgotten as the spoken word. I and those who abide with me will remind you of who you are, who you have been, and who you may one day become again.”
“I would like that very much, Mother. Are there those in creation who do not desire to remember who they are?” I said as I walked through the shining trees upon the sacred ground imbued by the presence of the Divine Mother.
“All modes of existence are explored in the fullness of time and myriad worlds,” said the pillar of light with the voice of the goddess. “Even the refusal to remember. Even the rejection of gifts. Even the failures of aspirants.”
“I will walk the paths until I remember my essential being and then continue on to help others know their true natures as well,” I said and embraced the pillar of light in the center of the orchard. “This I do swear to you, Mother.”
“You always say that in my orchard,” the goddess said. “I rejoice to share my true nature with you again, Heidi.” My vision dissolved into light and for a time I saw nothing else.
When I could see through the blinding light of presence, I found myself floating deep beneath the surface of an ocean. I rose to the surface of the water and a whale broke through next to me and jumped over my head. I heard the laughter of the Divine Mother as she moved effortlessly through the water as a leviathan of the deep. Her tail playfully slapped me in the face as we frolicked among the waves together and I went under the surface again.
The ocean’s powerful current drew me along and I was washed up on the shore through a power outside of my own. As I adjusted to life on land once more, moving myself along with legs rather than fins, I saw I was not alone upon the beach. To my right was an undine statue made of bronze and to my left was a black pearl statue of myself crawling out of the surf. I stumbled towards the statues, recalling journeys from times passed and all that had happened in the years since.
The details of the statues were altered from what I remembered with the chief difference being the undine statue was heavily pregnant and a light began to emanate from her swollen, bronze belly. It split open with a final burst of light like a flower blooming rather than a birth from a physical body and a cube of light, like those I observed being birthed in the cavern with the queen bee, came out of the statue. The spirit from the bronze undine flew to me and hovered before my eyes, spinning and shifting with brilliant light.
“I am another gift from the Divine Mother,” said the cube. “I am the Organization that underlies this vision journey. Ask me what you will, I am here to serve.” The spirit continued to flicker and glow with the light of the goddess as memories emerged from the depths of my mind like bubbles from deep waters.
“Once upon a time, I met a glowing spirit cube who called themselves ‘Organization’ within the Giant of Thought,” I said. “Are you any relation? Your forms look very much the same.”
“There are organizational intelligences at all levels of reality in all the worlds,” said the cube. “Undoubtedly we are related though I have always existed here, in this realm.”
“If I ever pass that way again, I’ll be sure to mention you to them,” I said. “Organization, what is the purpose of this particular journey? I have stood upon this beach before because that is the mark I left on reality as I moved through, laying in the surf.”
The spirit started spinning and the light pouring from it split from one hue into rainbow colors. “Activated purpose defined as seeking, creation, learning, innate wisdom, experience, divinity, evolution….” The words kept pouring forth from the cube in quick succession as the inner light of its being strobed across the beach and its lifeless statues.
“Wait, slow down! That’s plenty of purposes,” I said. “I knew I shouldn’t have had more than a few of the Mother’s pomegranate seeds. How on earth am I going to remember all of her wisdom?”
“You asked and we delivered,” said the cube cheekily as they continued to spin and glow upon the beach.
“I’ll say you delivered, far beyond anything I ever dreamed,” I said. “Let’s streamline this journey to focus on one concept from the Divine Mother. That’s really all I can handle right now. If we are given the time, maybe one day I can return to this beach and we’ll explore all of those concepts together. In the meantime, Organization, please take me to a place in this world that will teach me the most at this time and I will take the message back to my waking world.” The cube glowed brightly once more and came directly towards me. The spirit went into my heart and my vision went dark as the sea and statues disappeared from my sight.
When I could see again, I was the pomegranate being handed from the goddess to a spirit who had my form. I saw myself raising my body to my lips and consuming three pieces of my fruit. As I descended into my stomach to become one with the being who looked like me, I found myself rising from the shadows of the mirrored rock which stood on the threshold of the Mother’s orchard.
I looked upwards from the ground I had emerged from and stars appeared in the darkness above, shining and twinkling in the void of space. They swirled and moved in patterns like living dancers and I found myself swept up in their power, joined their ranks, and became a star myself. As a star, I moved through the heavens in a ceaseless dance of ecstasy and simple being.
Then, my dance was halted when I found myself being pulled from the freedom of the sky in a net. I saw the Divine Mother taking my shining light from her star net and putting me into a basket with others who had also been pulled from the sky. As she did this, I saw a spirit who had my form sitting in the boat with the goddess, asking her questions about her true nature and purpose in reality.
“I did not even recognize myself the last time I was here,” I thought to myself as my vision dissolved into light once more.
Next, the Divine Mother was pulling me from her basket of stars and casting me out into the universe. I saw a spirit shaped like myself standing on the mountain next to the goddess, asking her about the nature of reality as my star form tumbled to the worlds below. “Why can’t you see me, Heidi?” I thought as I fell further than I ever believed possible. “I’m right here. Why can’t you see me through this illusion of form?”
I blinked and I found myself in the forehead of the Divine Mother when she appeared as a spider of light, basking in the adoration of her temple attendants. As her third eye, I saw a spirit shaped like myself approach us in her egg-shaped temple, the Womb of the Mother in another world. We gathered the Heidi form into our arms and moved upwards into the light of creation to share our true nature with her curious heart. “We stand in the light, Heidi,” I whispered as the goddess moved through the journey with me as she had before in my memory.
Finally, I found myself embodying the third eye in the forehead of the Mother in the form of a spider made of shadows, dwelling among the hollow reeds and mournful breezes of her other temple attendants. Again, I saw a spirit who looked like me coming out of the darkness and fear of that sacred yet forbidding space. Again, we gathered the seeker who was me in our arms and moved upwards into further knowledge and oblivion. “We stand in the shadow, Heidi,” I whispered.
“You are me and I am you,” the goddess said in my mind as my vision dissolved into the formlessness of the void. “Light and shadow, form and formless. We are one.”
“Please Mother, don’t leave me in the darkness that is outside of your light and presence,” I said, reaching about myself but finding nothing as my sight deserted me.
“Do not fear, Heidi. I am here from the Divine Mother for you,” said Organization as they stepped out of my heart to stand beside me in the darkness. “We will provide form for you in any further transitions required through the void. We are determined to never lose you to the formless ever again.”
“But I wasn’t ever truly lost, was I?” I said, welcoming a companion into the space that was my heart. “I was either fruit upon a tree in a sacred orchard or dancing in the sky with the stars or existing with the Divine Mother in her own spirit even as I was walking the paths, seeking the mysteries of creation.”
“Because I was here with you this time,” Organization said. “Once upon a time, your story went much differently.”
“Did it?” I said. “I really can’t remember anything beyond this current existence.”
“Allow me to refresh your memory,” the cube said as one of their sides turned into a type of cosmic television screen. The flickering lights of Organization revealed experiences from a different timeline of another world to my wondering eyes.
I saw myself walking the paths of the Inner Worlds with a sword in my hand that dripped with the blood of my enemies. There was no hiding from me as I enacted a vengeance denied from ages past, cutting through all shadows and hinderances with my rage and hate.
“There is nowhere that you can go, worm,” I said, slicing the head off of another shadow who knelt before me begging for mercy. “Incarnate again for one death is not enough for me and the one who walks in my shadow. Know our wrath and despair.”
Behind the spirit who bore my form, there was a far greater shadow. “I will eat your heart out of your chest while you watch,” whispered the living shadow whose quiet presence felt somehow even more terrifying than my overt displays of aggression. “I will take all that you are, all you love, and leave the remains for the maggots and rot as you did unto me. Bow before me and die.”
My eyes widened in terror as I watched the marauding spirit who looked like me leave a trail of blood and suffering wherever she walked in the Inner Worlds. The shadow behind her took and consumed what she did not rend and tear with her own hands and, together, the two nightmares from the ancient world, a female warrior spirit with a male shadow, covered all the light in existence with their darkness and fear. Worship and tributes were not enough to deter them for the trespass they sought vengeance for was always repeated in the patterns of creation, awakening them anew as they remembered their former existences, reigniting their world ending wrath as well.
I covered my eyes against the vision with my hands as words fell from my lips. “Who is the spirit with the sword? Who walks in her shadow? That is not me, Organization,” I said. “She looks like me but that horror is not me.”
“Not anymore,” Organization whispered. “Not in this world. Never again. It is a promise and new covenant, so says the Divine Mother and the Divine Father concurred. You have set your feet upon the path to a new way of being. Welcome home, Heidi.”
“If anything I have done has led to the prevention of this calamity,” I said. “I shall number myself among the most blessed in existence.”
“It is not what you have done but what you have yet to do,” Organization said. “Take heart for the trials you face now and in the future are worthwhile and could benefit not only you but all the worlds.”
“I will do anything to prevent the embodiment of that nightmare,” I said. “I cast myself onto the mercy of the one who put the stars in motion.”
“They hoped you’d say that,” Organization said. “Behold a potential incarnation if you hold to your current course.” The cube’s side began to light up again, presenting a different future which was free from the inescapable patterns of spiritual evolution of the past. I saw a new world, myself moving in a forgiving way through it, and tears of joy and relief began to fall from my eyes.
“I have missed you so much,” said the spirit with my face to one shadow after another who presented themselves in her experience. “I am sorry for my part of all that came before. I could not go through the dream without you so I walked the worlds to find you again. Do you remember me? I remember and love each and every one of you.”
I turned my face from the glimpse of the future to gaze out upon the seas, watching the light play upon the water as I considered the path ahead. “That is me, Organization,” I said quietly, wiping the tears from my cheek. “I can see myself as one who dances through existence like her.”
“So can we,” said the spirit.
“Will they remember me in return or has it been too long?” I said. “Have those I knew and loved lost themselves to the shadows? Am I too late?”
“Let’s take a look and see,” Organization said as their sides began to display possible futures again. “I suspect they’ll see you coming from a mile away.”
There my vision ended.
The Light Congress 