Gate: Five of Cups
I stepped through the vision gate and was standing on packed dirt in an empty field. All was silent and still until, quite suddenly, I perceived a commotion like the tread of many feet upon the ground, the approach of a massive army. At first, I thought the sound must be caused by a group of spirits all moving together but as I looked closer towards the disturbance, I realized the source of the noise was a huge, brown centipede.
The centipede was massive, so long that I could not see his beginning or his end, and his head was the size of a car. I went close to this creature with some trepidation because he was so much bigger than me.
“Hello!” I said, waving a hand in greeting. “My name is Heidi and I have come to this place seeking your true nature.”
The spirit did not respond in words but waved his various legs at me in what I assumed was a friendly gesture. Then, far quicker than I would have imagined possible, the centipede darted at me, lifting me off of my feet with his head like a dog tossing a toy into the air. I landed upon his back and grasped at his sectioned body before we shot forward at a tremendous speed.
“Nice to meet you too,” I called to the centipede as we shot through his realm like a comet moving upon the surface of the Earth.
Suddenly, a tree branch came out of nowhere and I was swept off the centipede’s back, tumbling to the bare, packed earth again. Around me, tall blades of grass appeared, each as thick around as a small tree trunk, and they had human faces. They bent towards me, murmuring unintelligible words like a living forest.
“Hello, friends,” I said, pushing aside a few blades of enormous grass so that I wouldn’t be smothered by their attention. “My name is Heidi. Who are you?”
As I waited for a response from the field, the grass blades moved and swayed in a sudden wind that came and went with intensity. For a time, there was complete silence and the hypnotic motions of the grass in the breeze like ripples upon a sea of plant life.
“We are the Blades of Eternity,” the grass suddenly whispered in unison. Then, another gust of strong wind bent them backwards and forwards as if in a graceful bow.
“Be welcome among us,” whispered a single blade of grass. This wish was echoed by a dozen other blades of grass nearby. The wind gusted, the grass danced in the breeze and, once again, they settled into peaceful patterns of predictable motion.
“Blades of Eternity, I am very pleased to meet you all,” I said. “What is your purpose?”
“We move in the breath of the giant and cut his thoughts,” sighed the grass blades. Then, they bent, swayed, and moved with the intermittent winds once more.
“Cut thought?” I said, finding myself moving with the grass in the next breeze as if I was part of the field myself. “How is such a thing possible? Thoughts are not physical things, at least where I come from.”
“Sharper than steel, stronger than the earth, the Blades of Eternity can cut that which is unmanifested,” said the blades of grass. “That is our purpose for being.” Again and again, the grass moved with the gusts of wind and returned to their upright positions.
“The wizard of the wood called unmanifested thoughts, ‘progenitor thoughts,’ but we found those sparks within our hearts, not moving in the wind,” I said. “Can I see these uncut thoughts? I don’t see anything beyond your movements.”
“Anything is possible,” the grass sighed and suddenly a giant approached the part of the field where I stood among the waving blades. He paused now and again as he neared me and kneeling down, he puffed out his cheeks and blew gently across the grass. Despite his gentleness, his breath came forth from his lungs like a hurricane blast, scouring the fields, and causing the repeated swaying motion of the tree-like grasses with human faces.
After a final out breath, the giant spotted me upon the ground and scooped me up with an enormous hand. “Hello…,” I started to say but before I could speak another word, he popped me into his mouth and swallowed me whole.
I found myself in total darkness within the belly of the giant so I visualized a wax candle in my hand. Using its calming, flickering light, I began to explore my surroundings which appeared to my eyes as a cave made of stone. Just beyond the circle of my candlelight, shadowy beings approached the edge of the light until I could dimly perceive a flash of bright eyes, but they would come no closer.
“Is anyone there?” I called, moving towards the shadows as they darted away into the further depths of the cave. “I won’t hurt you, I just want to know who you are,” I said. After some more time spent in a fruitless chase of the shadows, I sat upon the cave floor. “If you’re shy, that’s fine,” I said. “I am too. Is there a guide in this place?”
There was a slight movement at my feet and a tiny golem arose from the rock of the cave. “Hello,” he grumbled in a gravel-filled tone. “I am Inspiration. Who are you and how did you come to be in this place, flesh and blood being?”
“My name is Heidi and the giant in the field swallowed me,” I said. “Thank you for answering my call, Inspiration. Where am I?”
“You walk among the unmanifested thoughts in the Cave of Thought,” he said. “It is a sacred place of beginnings and first steps. Chance smiled upon you to bring you to this cave, Hi-Dee.” As the golem spoke, a strong gust passed through the cavern and some of the shadows were pulled from the gathered crowd beyond the light of my candle and whisked away in the breeze.
“I have been very fortunate in my many travels, I can’t deny it,” I said. “What is happening here?”
“The giant conceives the thoughts within his spirit then moves them among the Blades of Eternity through his breath,” the golem said. “Some thoughts are cut to ribbons by the guardians of the field, others, if deemed worthy, are allowed to pass on to the worlds below.”
I considered all that I had seen with the giant of thought, the field of dancing grass and now the numerous shadows of the unmanifested cave. “Where are the thoughts conceived within the giant’s spirit?” I asked at last. “He has so many potential thoughts contained here. I would love to see their point of origin.”
“This way,” grumbled Inspiration and led me deeper into the cave. As we moved, the shadows stayed close but remained out of the light, giving me the feeling of being surrounded by a large, silent crowd. Occasionally, winds passed through the cave and removed a few of their number, but there were ever more shadows emerging from the walls and deeper recesses to take their place.
After traversing more twisting and labyrinthian stone tunnels, the golem brought me to a part of the cave that pulsed with bright light and I extinguished my candle in its greater glow. “Behold, Hi-Dee, the heart of the giant called ‘Thought’,” he said. “Each beat, he brings forth another unmanifested thought. See his strength and potency?”
During each pulse of the light which streamed from the heart of the giant, I saw, for a brief moment, something that looked like a human figure of living shadow emerge from the stone of the cave but then it was gone, blended into the crowd of shadow around me. This happened again and again as regularly and as quick as a heartbeat.
“Can I speak to any of them?” I asked, running my fingers through a thought’s fleeing shape. “I produce progenitor thoughts from my heart too but I’ve never tried to communicate with them in their unmanifested state. I didn’t even know you could.”
“You have to call one by name to speak with it,” Inspiration said. “It is simple, Hi-Dee.”
“And how will I know a name?” I said.
The golem grinned. “Say the first thing that comes to mind and you will have upon your tongue the identity of an unmanifested thought from this cave,” he said.
“Can it really be that easy, Inspiration?” I mused. “Well, let’s give it a go. Feet!” I called out, feeling rather silly. As soon as I said the word, one of the human-shaped shadows stepped forth into the pooled light of my candle which had suddenly reignited in my hand.
A voice came from the shadow being: “I move beneath you on the ground. Bearing, holding, keeping sound. We run, we walk, we dance, we play. Feet are with you every day.” I opened my mouth to ask the spirit called Feet a question but as I did so, one of the frequent gusts of wind moved through the cave, grabbed the thought form and he was gone.
“This isn’t going to work,” I said. “How can I talk to any of these thoughts if they are here one moment and gone the next?”
“Naming the thought gave it substance,” Inspiration said. “That speeds up its development and exit from the cave of the giant of thought.”
“Are there no thoughts in this place that are more permanent?” I asked. “Other than you, I mean.”
“Yeah, I know one,” the golem hopped down from my shoulder where he had perched himself while we chatted. “This way, Hi-Dee, this way.” Once again, the golem led me through the cavern until we came to a place that glowed with the same light that had pulsed at the birthplace of the thoughts. But, instead of a small area on the cave floor, this bright light emanated from a six-sided cube that floated in space. Inspiration leapt from the ground into the cube and the light grew even brighter.
I shaded my eyes in the spirit’s brilliant glow. “Hello, unmanifested thought, I am Heidi,” I said. “Do you have a name that you could share with me without forcing your exit from this place?”
“I am Organization,” they said, lights of various pastel hues glowing from their smooth sides. “If the giant is the father of these thoughts, I could be considered the mother of the same.”
“It doesn’t seem very motherly to allow your children to be blown across a field of swords, risking life and limb for manifestation,” I said. “How can you bear it?”
“Oh, the journey does not cause injury,” the cube replied. “Any thought whose time hasn’t yet come, just returns to our cave until it is their time. It is a completely natural and painless process of evolution and manifestation.”
“Do you allow chance to decide which thoughts pass through the Blades of Eternity and which return to you?” I asked. “Who decides when a thought’s time has come?”
“This is not a matter of chance,” Organization said. “It is destiny. This is how the process works, Heidi.” The cube turned one of their flashing sides into a television screen and I saw a thought pulse into being at its birth place- the heart of the giant called Thought. Then, a wind moved through the giant’s cave and the shadow was whisked away by the breath of the giant.
Next, I saw the giant blow the thought from his mouth across the Blades of Eternity. Some of the thoughts were dissipated among the cutting blades of grass but one human-shaped shadow continued on across the fields and into the skies above the guardian spirits.
Finally, I saw myself lying at home in the real world in meditation on my mat. The thought form entered my third eye and the cube’s television screen disappeared. “That was how you were given the thought of this place,” Organization said. “The giant gave birth to the thought within his heart and manifested it through his breath. Then, once separated from its creator, it survived the fearsome gauntlet of the Blades of Eternity and found its way to you.”
“Once a thought survives the cutting blades of grass, it can travel anywhere in the myriad worlds that it needs to,” the cube continued. “That is why the sorting function of the field is so important- to cut through the innumerable potential thoughts to find the ones that are most helpful at the present moment. Without this Organization and safety precautions of the field, there could be potential chaos and intrusive thoughts beyond measure in the manifested worlds.”
I rubbed my own forehead, imagining that I could physically feel the newly manifested thought within the recesses of my own mind. “Thank you for teaching me about the Cave of Thought and all the rest,” I said. “I wish Merlin could have been here with me. He would have loved this place.” Organization glowed serenely in the darkness and I found myself caught up in the next wind that passed through the cave.
I emerged from the giant’s mouth and was blown through the Blades of Eternity where I landed on the back of the running centipede once more. We rushed forward again with tremendous speed like before when, suddenly, the centipede burrowed into the ground. I was thrown from his back onto an empty field of dirt where a blood red sun shone down, bathing everything in a red-tinged light. Behind me, the Blades of Eternity waved in their eternal dance with the breath of the Giant of Thought.
Then, in the middle of the empty field, a castle made of black stone held together with glowing red light erupted from the ground. It looked very similar to the Castle of Skye except where that castle was light and mist, this was shadow and darkness. I gazed at the fortress with a mixture of admiration and fear because of its tall gates and bristling armaments lining the walls. An uncounted amount of time passed before there was movement at my feet and Inspiration rose from the dirt of the field, but this time he wore a small iron helmet and carried a tiny spear.
“Hello again, my friend,” I said. “What is this place? It reminds me of somewhere I’ve been but the shadows are far more prevalent here than there.”
“This is the Palace of Mars, Hi-Dee,” the golem said. “He admired his lady’s Castle of Skye so much he built one like it for himself and his warriors of light. Shall we go within?”
“If you think the god will allow us entrance, I will walk his halls,” I said and Inspiration led me across a dark drawbridge to the threshold of the armored gates. Unlike the guarded and contested Castle of Skye, this door was wide open and I moved within its red-lit shadows with no challenge. A desolate breeze moved through the empty halls which were filled with nothing I could perceive but shadowed stone and red light.
“Hello!…hello….hello….” I called and my voice echoed eerily back to me. “Where is the master of the castle, Inspiration, and his warriors of the Inner Worlds?”
“You seek Mars,” said the golem. “This palace seems empty to your eyes because the god doesn’t understand Venus and her messengers as much as he thinks he does and the reverse is also true. This way, Hi-Dee!”
The golem ran towards a doorway at the base of a dark tower, which we entered and ascended many spiral stairs until we were high above the rest of the castle. At the very top of the tower, Inspiration pushed open an ornately carved wooden door and we emerged into a throne room where an enormous god swathed in shadows and armor sat on a dark throne. As he reclined in his place of power, the god sharpened a spear upon a whetstone and wore an iron helmet that covered most of his face. His eyes shone from the depths of his helmet like two stars in the night sky.
“Hello again, Mars,” I said. “I think this castle is far superior to your old long hall in both its construction and defensibility. Thank you for allowing Inspiration and I entrance.”
When the god responded, the tower shook with the power of his voice. “Who are you and why do you act as if you know me?” he said. “I do not permit overly familiar spirits in my halls, only the brave and true.”
“Don’t you remember me, Great One? When last we met, I called you ‘Ares’ but we decided in the future to use the appellation of the Roman god instead,” I said. “Well, it is no big matter to my mind either way. I shall simply introduce myself again. My name is Heidi and I come seeking the nature of this place and you. I am brave and true, Mars, and I hope to have the opportunity to prove this to you in the future.”
“Heidi, is it?” the god said. “Be welcome but know I grow tired with this place, untested spirit. I do not understand those who can build a home and remain in it indefinitely. It is so dull. I crave action! Allow me to provide you with an opportunity to prove yourself.” Mars rose to his feet and descended from his throne, the castle shaking beneath us with each step. He waved his arms in a summoning gesture and the room filled with ancient soldiers who screamed at each other in a fury and ran towards their opponents with weapons drawn.
“Stop this madness!” I cried out and raised my arms, mirroring the god’s gesture. The warring soldiers vanished as if they had never been. “Great One, your idea of how to prove my worth is quite different from my own. I neither seek physical combat nor invite it into my existence. My innate talents are something else entirely. If you are bored, why not invite some engaging entertainment in? Why is your castle empty and echoing?”
Mars turned his countenance upon me and I felt the weight of his regard as if it was a physical presence upon my skin. “My halls are not empty, unwilling warrior,” the god said after a few heartbeats. “They ring with the sound of combat and conflict. I find it peaceful in its constant noise like others might listen to waves breaking upon the shore.”
“I heard and saw nothing on my way to your throne,” I said. “To me, your palace is empty and filled with shadow and breezes.”
“You saw nothing, really? One must be nearly blind and deaf to perceive nothing in my halls,” Mars said. “Or walking in another world of their own creation. Come with me, oblivious spirit.” With thunderous footsteps, the god led me to the exit of his tower.
“I have been accused of moving through reality in a different manner than others. This is a fair assessment,” I said. “Where do we go, Great One?”
“To find your conflict, Heidi,” the god said. “All in creation have their struggles be they of the physical world, mind, heart, or something else. We shall get to the truth of your personal conflict. This is a gift I will give to you in return for sharing your unique vision of my world with me.”
Mars led me through the doorway across a bridge high above his dark fortress that led to a tower that glowed like it was made of light and mist, a piece of the Castle Skye attached to his own palace. The god banged with his gauntleted fist on the door to this tower. “Venus, I have one here who doesn’t understand my essential nature or her own,” he said. “Please attend to us and help us sort this mess.”
The door opened under its own accord and a goddess who glowed with inner light emerged. As Venus’ feet touched the bridge to Mars’ palace, it changed from black stone to the white stone of her tower. She gave a carefree laugh and kissed the helmeted cheek of the warrior god.
“Oh Mars, no one understands you completely, least of all me,” Venus said. “However, let me see if I can help you. I believe attempts at greater understanding are never a waste of time and benefit everyone involved.”
Venus took the god’s hand and led us back across the open sky bridge and down the spiral steps of the tower. As the god and goddess passed through the halls of the warrior’s castle, the side that Mars was on remained shadowy and tinged with red, but the left side, where Venus passed, the rocks turned to polished marble and glowed with a brilliant light that came from the goddess herself.
I followed the transformative deities back to a large empty room I had passed through on my way to the god’s tower. “Do you still see nothing, Heidi?” Venus asked. I nodded in response. Then, the goddess pressed her palms over my eyes and I perceived a flash of bright light. “May you see with the eyes of love,” Venus said, removing her hands. “Now what do you see?”
When I opened my eyes again, a crowd of feasting, arguing Roman gods and goddesses were in the room. They were seated at tables and ate, drank, played dice, danced, and some were holding animated conversations.
Neptune dripped with sea water and accidentally got some of it onto the dinner plate of Mercury who sat next to him at the dinner table. The god with the winged hat shoved Neptune away. “Watch what you’re doing, brother,” Mercury complained loudly. “Now my dinner tastes of your salted ocean depths, you old codfish.” Neptune pushed him back and they playfully started a food fight, drawing the other gods and goddesses into the joyful fray.
I turned to Venus and Mars who were still leading me through the raucous gathering, dodging the bits of food that came their way. “I could not see this at all before, Great Ones,” I said. “What was blinding my eyes?”
“You forgot to look for the love underlying conflict, Heidi,” Venus said. “Families like ours fight but forgive. It is not something to be feared above all things and hidden away in the shadows.” The goddess directed my attention to Neptune and Mercury who had finished throwing food at each other and were now sharing a goblet of wine between themselves.
“The inevitable conflicts between a parent and a child can be viewed the same way,” the goddess said. In my mind’s eye, I saw myself arguing with my daughter about what clothes she was going to wear to school. “There is a meeting of disparate wills, a push back, but then resolution if both sides are open to it. Always try to look at disturbances in your life with the eyes of love, Heidi. It may be easier on you to deal with conflicts that arise in your life if you remember this essential truth.”
I bowed to Mars and Venus as they seated themselves at the head table, joining their family in the feast. “I still do not fully understand the nature of Mars, the craving for action and conflict, but I will do my very best to remember the lessons that you have taught me today, both of you.” I said. “When Love passes through the halls of conflict, it changes everything and everyone it touches for the better. Thank you for your timeless wisdom.”
I was pulled by an unseen force out of the halls of the Palace of Mars and landed beside the tunnel where the mammoth centipede had entered the ground between the Blades of Eternity and the dark castle. I threw myself down the hole in an effort to find him.
“Centipede!” I called as I fell. “I would like to thank you for bearing me through this realm. I could not have managed without your assistance.” My fall was suddenly arrested and I was suspended in the air in almost complete darkness but then perceived the insect’s great head rising towards me out of the shadows.
He had grown during my time with Mars and Venus, and now appeared larger than a house to my eyes. The spirit nodded to me in acknowledgement and waved his appendages again in greeting. “What is your name, my friend?” I said.
A deep rumble issued from his mouth. “Time,” he said.
“I hope we meet again, Time,” I said. “Maybe next time we can have a proper conversation rather than a pell-mell flight through reality.”
“All things come in their appointed time,” the centipede replied gravely. I shook one of his forelegs, sealing our agreement.
There my vision ended.
The Light Congress 