Gate: Five of Swords
I stepped through the vision gate and was surrounded by thick black smoke that obscured my sight. Above the bilious clouds, the sky glowed blood red and, with its distant loveliness, welcomed me back to the world of perpetual war. I pushed through the smoke as if parting ephemeral cobwebs, trying to keep my eyes on the sky as I did so in an effort to keep my spirits high.
After much effort and movement through the shadows, the black smoke was cleared by a cool breeze and I found myself standing on a field divided into squares like a chessboard. Dark figures wreathed in shadows that concealed their form were near. As I approached these spirits, they switched back and forth between the aspects of actual people and man-sized chess pieces causing a visible distortion to my sight like waves of energy rising above super heated sand dunes.
As I went closer to one of the beings who was shaped like a pawn, he changed into a soldier from the First World War. The soldier didn’t notice my presence but gazed anxiously into the distance, muttering about “the enemy getting closer.” Then, cupping his hands to his mouth, he lit a cigarette, the match strike bringing a momentary light to the shadow beneath his metal helmet.
I crouched down next to the soldier in an effort to see what the man saw but all I could perceive was the chess board extending in all directions and further pieces upon the squares. As I did so, the man suddenly noticed me. “What are you doing!” he exclaimed. “Where’s your helmet, man! Get down!” He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me even lower next to him upon the board. “For God’s sake, you have a death wish, coming out here like that,” he said and took another hit of his cigarette.
“I’m sorry, friend,” I said, cowering as low to the ground as I could. “I’ll try to do better in the future. Who’s our enemy again?”
The soldier turned his attention from his reality to squint his eyes at me in the darkness. “Have you taken a head wound?” he said. “If that’s the case, you need to fall back and talk to a medic. You’re only a danger to yourself and everybody else if you stay out here.”
“I’m not wounded,” I said, my heart beginning to race in my chest because of a threat I could feel but not see. “I haven’t been sleeping well, you see, and it messes with my head. Sometimes I forget why I’m here.”
The man snorted in solidarity. “Don’t we all,” he said, drawing another long pull on his cigarette. “If the leaders of the world were out here in the trenches with us, this war would have been over yesterday. As it is, we best keep our heads down and endure until our replacements arrive.”
“This is a fine plan,” I said, beginning to rise from the squat I had taken next to the soldier. “But it’s not going to work for me, my friend. I’m from another world and I came here to learn the true nature of this realm. I won’t learn anything cowering in fear.”
The soldier stifled a guffaw at my declaration. “You’ve gone mad,” he said in a low voice. “This hell has broken your mind. Don’t worry about it, the front has ruined finer men than you. Sit quietly with me and I will find help for you when our shift is done.”
“I am not a man, but a woman,” I said, pulling my arm from his calming hand. “And I shall be on my way now whether you will it or not.”
The moment I declared myself to be a woman, I transformed into a queen chess piece. The soldier shielded his eyes from the energy that emerged from my body in my transformation but when the light faded, he pulled his rifle off of the ground at his feet and pointed it at me. Immediately, all of the figures, who had been lost in their own worlds upon the board around the crouched soldier and I, focused upon me and a threatening crowd gathered, bristling with weapons and uniforms from various times and places.
At first, I started to panic but then remembered the chess queen could move as far as she wanted in any direction, at least according to the rules of the game that I knew. Though I could not move my legs as they had been changed into white marble, I slid forward across the chessboard with its black and white spaces and avoided the angry mob without further incident or threat.
As I left the shadowed pieces behind me upon the board, I saw a crowd of lighted pieces like me gathered together in a welcoming group on the far side of the game space. I continued sliding forward until I moved among them and they all turned into cheering people dressed in togas made of shining white cloth. I resumed my form as a woman, rather than a game piece, and found myself dressed in the same garb.
I didn’t see anyone I recognized in the group though I looked carefully at every spirit in attendance. Though they shone with light, their faces were as hard for me to perceive as the shadowed pieces of the other side of the board. Just out of curiosity and because of the chess board theme, I asked, “Where is my king?” They gestured behind me and I turned in time to see a king piece change into a handsome man with dark hair and a welcoming smile.
This spirit came towards me across the chessboard with his arms outstretched in greeting and we embraced. When I pulled away from his arms, I found myself frowning in unhappiness while everyone else celebrated with cheers and exchanged cups of wine the color of blood, toasting their never-ending game. “What is wrong, my queen?” the king asked, noticing my demeanor. “You do not celebrate with the rest of us. It was a great victory and not just for our own.”
“What you are calling a victory was my strategic retreat,” I replied. “This reality isn’t real. Can’t you see the enormous game board and human-sized pieces? If this is a metaphor for my life or simply life in general, the war-like behavior and classification system makes me sad. I don’t want to play this monstrous game even with you, my matched set.” As I spoke, the shining figures around me changed back into chess pieces made of light and fell to their sides on the game board, releasing puffs of dust.
My king was the last of the pieces to fall and when he did, I found myself gazing into his eyes as they turned from flesh and blood back into marble. Though we had just met, his loss still hit me like a physical blow to the chest and I found myself falling to the ground next to him in my turn. I reclined alone upon the chessboard under the blood red sky among the fallen marble pieces for a time, fighting a loneliness and shadow that threatened to overwhelm my heart. And thus I waited in internal turmoil, but for what I did not know.
Then, there was a snuffling sound in the silence and stillness of my nightmare realm. A familiar, striped head poked up out of a hole in the ground along the edge of the chessboard. “Badger, thank God you came for me,” I said. “I was losing all hope upon the field alone. What are you doing here?”
“You need a guide and you are sad,” he said, laying a comforting claw on my arm. “Though you did not call me with your mind, I could hear your grieving heart from worlds away. There is no need to dwell in past failures or shadows as there is always work that can be done to improve things for the future. Follow me, Heidi. The world is filled with marvels and you need to see them. Come on!” With those words, Badger dove back into his tunnel.
Though I barely had the strength left to move, I expended every particle of energy I had left in my effort to crawl off the chessboard. Once I was clear of the war zone, I desperately threw myself into the hole in the ground, following my friend farther afield. He moved easily through the tunnel ahead of me, snuffling and throwing additional dirt out of our way so I could continue the journey even in my weakened state.
As we traveled, Badger yelled encouragement back to me. “Keep going, Heidi!” he said. “It isn’t far now! We’re almost there!” I felt my heart reviving in my chest from the depths it had fallen and took strength from the closeness and cheerful demeanor of my fearless friend. At first, I tried to respond to his company with affirmative words of my own, but found my mouth filling with dirt each time I opened it so, instead of offering encouragement, I soldiered on in silence and, what I hoped was perceived as, steadfast solidarity. Finally, after continuing this way for some time, the tunnel changed direction and began to lead Badger and I back to the surface.
I emerged from Badger’s escape tunnel, brushing the clinging dirt from my now-spoiled white clothes, and found myself standing next to my friend under the blood red sky once more. As storm clouds began to gather in the skies above, I beheld a huge pile of skeletons which formed an enormous, hideous throne of death and shadows. A dark figure was seated on the bones, far above us, and I felt a stifling fear and mind-numbing panic emanating off of him in continuous waves even from that vast distance.
“Badger, where have you taken me?” I asked. “This place seems as bad if not worse than the last one. We need to leave this realm entirely, not simply shift battlefields. I don’t have the strength or the heart for another fight.”
“I’ve brought you to a seat of immense and ancient power in the world of war,” Badger replied. “No one knows more about this place and its nature than the Great Warrior King. I thought he was someone you had to meet to truly understand this realm and its challenges. Was I wrong?”
I sighed and straightened my attire, such as it was. “You’re never wrong about me, Badger,” I said. “I’m just tired, is all, and something about this world affects my sight in such a way that I can’t understand what I see or what I see makes me so sad that I want to give up. Let’s make the best of a bad situation and scout out the realm anyway. Who’s this guy king of? Who are his people? Did they elect him or how was he chosen?”
Badger laughed so hard at my questions that he fell over and laid for a time at my feet. “Elect him?” he said at last, tears rolling from his eyes. “Oh Heidi, you don’t remember anything at all. The Great Warrior King was not elected, he was born a king. In his era, that’s all that was required to lead- being born in the proper place and time.”
“I don’t agree with this at all,” I said, helping my friend up from the ground. “Birthright is a terrible way to appoint leaders. The children always seem to be weaker reflections of their conquering parents, though why I believe this is one of those things I can’t remember in this godforsaken place. Even contemplating it is giving me a headache.”
“The Great Warrior King is not a weaker reflection of his sire,” Badger said, a new serious tone to his voice. “He lit the torch of a new civilization from Prometheus’ original flame and built a kingdom far beyond his father’s wildest dreams. Those who follow in his footsteps, especially his original companions, carry a great destiny as well as a doom in their shadow. If he deigns to speak with you, I suggest keeping your personal opinions to yourself.”
“I can make no promises as to my tongue,” I said. “Since Paralda blessed it with his spoon it has seemed beyond my control and my thoughts spill out as easily as breathing.”
“Well, good luck then, Heidi,” Badger replied. “Though I’ll catch some flak for bringing you here, I’ll not stick around to witness a massive failure of diplomacy. I have my own reputation to consider, you know.” With that, Badger turned and prepared to disappear back into his tunnel.
“You would not leave me alone in this place?” I said. “I promise to speak as politely and kindly as I am able and to hold my temper as well as I can. I never want to be an embarrassment to you, Badger, because I so admire the way you move through the worlds and want to be just like you, strong and fearless and tenacious. Please, don’t leave me like all the others whom I can’t even remember anymore. All I have left is the shadow of how I loved them.”
“You want to be like me?” my friend said, a smile lighting his features. “Of course you can be like me, your inner fortitude is the stuff of legend. Plus, for promising to try your best, I will make sure you are never really alone, ever again. From this moment forward I want you to remember, Heidi, that I am always with you in all times, places, and future battles. I will never leave you and that’s a fact as well as a pledge of fidelity.”
Badger spread his claws and leaped towards me in a playful attack that turned into an embrace. As he held me, his spirit was absorbed into my own body. I felt Badger’s energy run through me and a great courage building in my heart whereas before I had carried only grief and a profound sense of loss.
No longer afraid or sorrowful, I approached the distant king on his skeletal throne. As I walked, Badger’s courage emanated from heart and coalesced into armor upon my body. By the time I stood at the base of the Great Warrior King’s throne, I was completely armored in shining silver with a tracery of ivy.
The shadow figure on the throne of bones was dressed all in red armor with a helmet covering his head so that I could not make out his features. His eyes glowed like two burning coals from within the helmet, giving off the same red light that shone in the skies of this world.
“Hail, small one,” he replied in a deep and gritty voice, and rose slowly from his seated position. With booming steps like thunder, he began to descend the pile of skeletons. The earth itself shook as he descended from on high. “What are you doing in the seat of my power? You are not one of my companions and should not have been able to find this sacred place.”
“Badger brought me to your doorstep, Great One. I have come to understand you and your nature,” I said. “I’ll admit, I am unimpressed. All I see before me is death. Truly great leaders bring life and hope to their people, not only death to their enemies.”
The giant warrior king reached the base of the skeletal steps and began to circle me, menacingly, each footstep leaving a burning residual of living flames as he passed. Then, the spirit leaned close so that the red glow of his eyes filled my vision. “You are foolish to not understand whose shadow you stand in, weakling woman. I am Death. I am Destruction,” he said. “All who dare to stand before me and not bend a knee, die, whether male or female, young or old. Feel the fear I’ve inspired throughout time and despair.”
I gazed back at the ancient spirit steadily, steeling my heart beneath the onslaught of his devastating energy. As I fought off wave after wave of negative emotion, I felt a rage at this being building deep in my spirit. “Just because you arrived here first does not mean you can cow me, Warrior King,” I said through gritted teeth. “I too can be a force of nature if I choose to be. Behold the fury of the woman standing in your shadow.”
With that, I released the control I held over my emotions and they flew out into my body, filling me from the top of my head to my toes. The unbound energy caused me to grow so I soon towered over the skeleton throne that suddenly seemed tiny beneath me. Then, I raised my armored foot and ground the seat of the Great Warrior King into dust. After that, my wild emotions abated and I shrank again in size in proportion to their departure. “I prefer peace and tranquility to war,” I said. “I’m sorry, I was supposed to keep my temper in check in your presence but I can’t stand silent witness any more to your depravity. You no longer deserved either your seat of power or my patience with your endless threats to my heart.”
From the ruins of the skeleton throne, a ghostly blue light started to shine and human figures made of light emerged from the remnants of the bones. After a short time, the Warrior King and I were surrounded by a vast crowd of people made of blue light. There were so very many of them, all of whom had been trapped in the king’s throne, and some appeared as children. I held tightly to the residual of my anger so that I was not overwhelmed with sorrow at their collective fate.
“I am not an unbalanced force,” said the king, unconcerned with the blue wights or the destruction of his throne. “I shall prove it to you, angry woman, and you can reconsider your words.” He led me away from the field of bones to a meadow where a cauldron bubbled over a huge fire pit. The blue spirits followed us in a silent, ghastly procession. Then, the Warrior King gestured over the pot and a thick steam began to rise from it. “In addition to death, I give life,” he said. “Freely and gladly.”
As I gazed at the king through the steam rising from the cauldron, I saw, instead of a male figure with glowing eyes in the helmet, a female figure who was wrapped in finely spun red silks. Waves of peace came off of the woman in red in striking contrast to the perpetual menace of the Great Warrior King. Through the magical veil of smoke, the threatening figure changed not only his shape but also the entire feeling of his presence.
The spirit of the warrior king and red woman continued to move their arms in a wafting motion and the steam from the cauldron spread around us in a quickly expanding fog. Where it touched the blue specters, they changed from haunted spirits into wild flowers. More and more fog poured from the cauldron until I eventually stood in a field full of beautiful, blue flowers. The sky, which had been blood red throughout my time in this world, now turned blue as well. As the last spirit transformed into a blossom, the smoking cauldron disappeared and the warrior king appeared again beside me, without his female aspect upon him.
“Walk through this field with me, woman,” said the warrior king. “And know I have returned the lost souls from my conquests as I promised to do so long ago.”
As the king and I moved among the wildflowers, he left burning footprints among them as if his mere touch was death. In contrast, the flowers bent around my body as I moved through them, returning to their original shape once I passed as if I had never moved through them in the first place.
“From life to death and death to life. It is all balanced in the fullness of time,” he said. “Though you do not yet remember it, thank you for finally fulfilling your side of the pact that was made. I tired of carrying those souls with me through eternity though I would have never said so to anyone but you.” Suddenly, a bright light filled my eyes and the warrior king changed into a living pillar of light which fashioned itself into a glowing circle.
The circle grew in detail and shaped itself into a serpent of light which bit his tail in an unending cycle. I took a deep breath and passed through the center of the circle into another realm, leaving the field with its beautiful flowers behind.
Now, I was in a large, empty space inside an industrial building made of concrete. A spotlight appeared and a man with a sword stood in the center of it. Then, another spotlight appeared across the bunker which contained a new warrior. With screams of defiance and war cries, the two spirits rushed at each other and began fighting, causing numerous injuries to each other while their blood spilled on the cold, gray concrete. Soon many men appeared in that soulless industrial hall, always in groups of two, fighting with each other the moment their opponent appeared across the way.
“I am so tired of this place and its battles,” I thought and rose above the clashing groups. “They’re not even bothering to update their weapons as their times and environments change. Hate from past grievances can be so blinding.”
As I levitated my way towards the far exit of the hall, I saw the spotlighted fighters had an audience lining the walls of the industrial arena. These shadowy figures outside of the spotlights, who viewed the conflicts rather than participating in them, were screaming at the warriors and urging them on to bloodier efforts in the name of ancient tribal associations held by the different areas of the hall which were clearly marked by richly embroidered tapestries hanging from the hall’s ceiling.
In my mind, I heard the voice of the Great Warrior King: “Violence always has an audience. One need only choose whether to be fighting in the light or watching from the shadows of the observing throng. I always chose the light. What is your choice, woman?”
“You will not like my choice, Warrior King, for I say there are far more than two simple options for behavior in this hall,” I said aloud. “Violence no longer has me as either a participant or entranced observer. I refuse to play your game, Great One. What shall my punishment be for rejecting your preferred path of domination?”
I blinked and found myself in a lush green meadow under a tree with ripe, red fruit in the shape of diamonds. One of the lower branches of the tree held a beautiful fruit, ready for plucking. I pulled it from the tree and opened the flesh of the fruit with my hands, discovering the center of the diamond tasted like a fig and was surprisingly good, especially for developing in a realm of war like this one.
I enjoyed a piece under the tree in relative quiet for a moment until the fruit began to fall from the branches and I had to leave the shadow of the tree to not be struck by the falling diamonds. As the fruit fell, it split the air with the sound of a sword falling so that even this action which could have been gentle and natural felt threatening and war-like.
There was a yell and a group of children from the far end of the meadow, drawn by the sound of the clanging swords, descended upon the fallen fruit beneath the tree, pushing and fighting each other for it. I braved the still falling diamonds to walk among the children of the meadow and tried to reason with them. “Look, there’s enough for everyone already on the ground and if we need more food I will climb the tree myself to pluck what’s required,” I said. “There’s no need to fight. Please stop this madness. We can find a better way to share this delicious fruit and gift of nature together.”
With a little effort and more than a few comforting words, I organized the group into one line and began passing out the fruit. As I handed out the diamond-shaped figs, I noticed something strange- the children’s eyes were completely white without pupils. “What is wrong with your eyes?” I asked the small child who was next in line. She didn’t answer me, just took the diamond fruit from my hand and returned happily to the meadow beyond the tree.
“The children who grow to fight wars over the earth’s resources are born blind,” replied the disembodied voice of the Great Warrior King. “They cannot see any other way to be. I do not know why this is so, but it has always been so.”
I sighed in resignation but continued handing out the fruit. “This is how it may have been in your world, Great One,” I said when the final child had a piece and returned to their home beyond the tree. “But in my world, all who wish it are able to see.”
As I spoke, a bright light descended from the topmost branches of the diamond tree and fell to the earth as the fruit had, but then rose from the ground and entered the children’s spirits, changing their eyes so that they appeared as mine. They yelled again in their green meadow but in joy rather than the perpetual hunt and rushed off in a crowd of celebrating young people until they passed beyond my sight.
There my vision ended.
The Light Congress 